It is often said that a mother's love has no bounds. She will go the extra mile against all odds to ensure her family is safe and well catered for.
Such is the story of Mrs. Elizabeth Funmilayo Ebajemito, an unsung heroine who battled paranoid schizophrenia for years while working hard to take care of her family.
" Who's this woman..", "Why do you pick her as a subject.." and many more questions some may ask...
I chose her because I spent nine months inside her womb, she breast-fed me and nurtured me to be the man I am. She is my mother, and my hero.
Funmilayo, as she was fondly called in her youth was the second daughter of the Obadogba Solomon and his wife Mary. Funmis other sisters were Abigail Morenikeji the elder and Felicia Bosede the youngest of the three. They were born in a generation when the girl child had no voice in the family. Their mother (I can't believe I'm referring to my darling grandmother in this light😁) was severally scorned for not bearing any male children and her husband used that as an excuse to marry more women form which he bore sons and other daughters.
Their mother was a food vendor at the local Catholic primary school in the village. Her daughter's were all tomboys and they could square up to any male thei age in a physical fight. They all on different days of the week would assist their mum with sales of her food. The head teacher took an interest in Funmi saying that she was sharp and he didn't mind sponsoring her education in the school. However, her father objected and he emphasized that girls were bred only for sex and that they'd soon be married out so what's the point of educating them.
She was however secretly enrolled and was coming tops of her class. By the seventh year in school (as the curriculum was then), Funmi was married off to Joseph Olorunnipa Ebajemito, a man almost twice her age as a second wife. Joseph was a kind hearted soul. A brilliant teacher who had a passion for books. Shortly after being married, he was transferred to a Teacher Training Institute, Kaduna. She had to leave with her husband to Kaduna to start life anew. Funmi applied to the School of Nursing Zaria and by the time she got her admission letter, she found out that she was already pregnant, thus she had to forfeit the admission.
She later got a job as a telephone operator at the National Veterinary Research Institute, Mando*. Her passion to learn new things got her close to the Institutes Chief Typist who taught her how to use the Olympia Manual Typewriter. After months of learning , she enrolled for the Royal Society of Arts exams alongside her tutor. She made far better grades than her teacher with an average of 45wpm for the beginners exam. She was subsequently promoted to being the Typist while her teacher was transferred to another state. She was so diligent that she could afford a Honda 50 Ladies Bike and between the early 80's to early 90's she was the only female riding a motorcycle to work in the north of Kaduna.
By this time Funmi had borne three girls and a boy for her husband. Joseph was so good that he was recalled back to Kabba in the then Kwara state to continue his teaching job and as such he was hardly in Kaduna. Eventually he married a third wife there. This caused a strain with his relationship with Funmi even though they never officially separated. The children were having to move between staying with either parent from time to time. In one of these journeys however, her only son Sunday mysteriously died on arrival to his father's place in Kabba. The cause of death couldn't be ascertained. This incident shook Funmi to her bones.
Meanwhile, she was an active member of the Christ Apostolic Church, Kawo in Kaduna. Known for her beautiful voice, she was the lead alto in the choir and in no time she became part of the the pioneer choir of the popular Ayewa Gospel Singers who rocked gospel music in the 70's and 80's.
The pastor of this church as at this time was Pastor Samson Oreh, a vibrant young charismatic pastor who was married with a family.
Somehow, in ways no one can fully understand, Funmi and the Pastor began dating secretly. Things became complicated when she realized she had gotten pregnant. They both battled with options of aborting or keeping the baby. Their decision however, was one that allowed me to be born. (Yes, I am the offspring of an amorous affair between a married pastor and a separated choir member. - my story is in another blog).
They bore a child and named I'm Oluwagbemiga meaning God lifted me.
When Gbenga was about three years old, a fight broke in church and manu had discovered the secret affair between the Pastor and Funmi. That was the last time she went to church for over 20 years. She developed a post traumatic stress disorder which led to her being frightful. This also ended her singing career with the Ayewa Group.
She became very protective of her son, not wanting anyone to touch him. She also was apprehensive and would assume any comment on radio or TV was about her. Her once friendly nature changed and she had unnecessary fights with neighbors. She would point out to neighbours as enemies and assume they were out to hurt her.
Ironically, her work never suffered. From when Gbenga was five years old, she bought books and started teaching him how to read. She became his first teacher and throughout his elementary school days she ensured he had the best results in his class.
Even with the occasional spells of Paranoia, her work never suffered, rather she kept getting commendations from her work place. As such, everything Gbenga needed for his education and well-being was provided although there were times she had to make sacrifices such as a selling off valuable to ensure he wrote his SSCE and his JAMB.
The worst time she had battling with schizophrenia was in December of 1994. On a Monday morning while preparing for work she had a quarrel with a neighbor. When she came back to the room she complained of a headache (Asides this period, I had never seen my mum ill).
She told Gbenga to take her keys to the office and explain to her bosses that she wouldn't be able to make it to work. By evening, her eyeballs turned green and she could not recognize anyone not even her beloved Gbenga.
Her words were incoherent and she was constantly drifiting into discussions with imaginary figures. A family friend who was a nurse was summoned to help and she diagnosed it as *high level typhoid fever. She was however taken to Ilorin, Kwara state where her sister Bose and her husband ensured she had proper Medicare.
She returned back to Kaduna in April 1995 much better although with milder symptoms. She however never attended any church but lived her life quietly studying the Bible and constantly listening to the local news. Her son go went on to study Industrial Chemistry. She fought hard to ensure he had all he needed till he graduated. She saved up and bought a house after retiring.
Her other children came back to her after their own adventures and demise of their father in 2000.
The incident at the church in the early 1980s left a negative toll on her but somehow even though there was a distance between Pastor Oreh and her, they remained good friends even until his death in 2016.
Now in her mid eighties, she lives a peaceful life surrounded by her grandchildren.
Through all, despite criticisms for some decisions she took and battles she faced, my mother remains my hero for now and always.
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