Have you ever felt hard done-by or that you were dealt a bad hand to play in life? I have. On a couple occasions I've found myself feeling down and out with my lot, the why me sort of feelings that come when adversity strikes. I think that sort of feeling has struck all of us at one time or another. Today I caught up with a good mate of mine, a military veteran, who has felt the same on occasions, since 1982, and is feeling this way at the moment.
I wasn't keen to leave Faith today as she's still recovering from her operation last week and I'm on nursing duties although my mate called and his demeanor on the phone prompted me to go and check on him.
My buddy is a a fair bit older than me, about 62 years old, and as I said is a veteran. He was a British Royal Marine, an elite amphibious light infantry unit of the Royal Navy. It's a tough unit and those that make it in are some of the toughest sons of bitches you'll ever meet; My mate is certainly one who deserves that description. Tough SOB!
You see, my bro served during the Falklands War which ran between April and June 1982 and was contested between the United Kingdom and Argentina. It was a viscous little conflict.
My mate was in a helicopter about to be inserted onto the battlefield, under fire, when an RPG, (rocket propelled grenade) was fired at the helo. It banked hard and out he fell hitting the ground hard. He was alone, injured and taking fire.
He returned fire and was limp/running for cover when he stepped on a land mine which blew him into the air and blew his leg off completely. Still taking, and returning fire, he crawled to cover and continued to fight. Before long the helicopters dropped in with his comrades and they rallied to push back the enemy. He was still fighting when the combat medics reached him.
Since then he's had a prosthetic leg and more surgical procedures than he can count.
He emigrated to Australia in the late 1980's for a better life bringing his wife and they made a decent life here despite his disability.
I've been mates with him for many years and over that time he has had ups and downs, mostly related to his leg and he lost his wife to cancer also. He has struggled with PTSD as well but overall is an affable, funny guy, albeit with a darker side and tendency towards intolerance. He's a good mate though and would do anything for his mates.
I arrived at his place today and he looked miserable. You see, he has been having issues with the leg and has had three operations on it in the last three years and was also diagnosed with cancer. He's had a raw deal.
We caught up, chatted about life, war, mates and his issues of course. He has been quite depressed and despondent. When I left he seemed better and I think it helped to have someone there he knew would understand how he felt, not judge and try to fix his issues. He needed a listener today.
Seeing him and his demeanor made me think about all the small problems people have, that they feel are so very important, and how people whine and complain about the most insignificant and meaningless things; I'm guilty in of it too I guess, we all are to some extent. But seeing a guy like my mate puts it into perspective, for me at least, and I think, hey G-dog, it could be worse.
It could you know, be worse. I mean for all of us. I don't mean to negate a person's issues, make light of them, but I think it's a good perspective and attitude to have...
Remembering this helps me to order my thoughts, find gratitude for the things in life that are going well and to give perspective to those that are not.
I went home, gave Faith a peck on the cheek and made sure she had what she needed then I went into my workshop to have some thinking-time.
Life can be hard, unfair and often cruel but that's how it is. We can let it defeat us, the fall and stay down ethos, or we can get up, dust off and keep fighting, keep pushing towards a resolution, better times, and the best life paradigm...Like my mate did that day in the Falklands, and has ever since, to the best of his ability.
Finding perspective and the right attitude is not always easy, but for me the choice to take that path is! The other option isn't very appealing.
I hope y'all have had a great weekend and, if you're facing adversity, that you find the courage to stand up, dust off and keep fighting.
I hope you're ok.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
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