Blow up

Things go wrong, it's inevitable. Sometimes it happens more than once; usually it does, and we experience loss, real or perceived, which doesn't feel good. It's outside of our control sometimes but, much of the time, it's within or due to something we have done or not done willfully. Put the right things in more often and the right things will come out more often.

Blow up

I've seen many people experience a problem, adversity, perceived loss or something that went wrong and I've watched them deal with it in many ways.

Some take ownership and seek to make the appropriate changes which is a mature, valid and viable way; the right thing to do. Ownership, responsibility and effort will always work much better than doing nothing, or giving in to the most base of human behaviours and lashing out.

Some feel so wronged, entitled, lazy and blinded to a responsible way forward that they blow up. Often the blow up is aimed at others rather than their own irresponsible actions; it's easier to lay or shift blame to someone or something else. They lash-out with disparaging remarks, seek to draw like-minded others around them for support, spit vitriol and vomit rhetoric freely.

It happens all the time and with the rise of social media we see it a lot more now than we used to. Social media is a fertile a breeding ground for it, the platform I'm writing this on included.

It's a familiar story and process.

A feeling of having been wronged. A shifting of any and all blame away from oneself. The feeling of loss and the rise of anger. And then the blow up begins. It often means a lot of words and dialogue that I hitherto refer to as vitriol and rhetoric. It often means senseless and baseless remarks that escalate exponentially and with some basic support that empowers and exacerbates the blow up even more.

It's never productive and tends to push others away rather than draw them closer; once that vitriol, the name-calling and slanderous text reaches other people's eyes and ears it usually has the reverse effect than intended even despite some initial and cursory words of support. People just don't want to be attached to those who behave as above.

It doesn't solve the issue, it usually demonstrates that any punitive actions and adjustments by others are well-placed and deserved.

There's many cases of this sort of behaviour on this platform and others and generally in the offline world. Facebook is full of people throwing verbal hand grenades at each other, some warranted. But it never ceases to amaze me that people bother to do so. What has the loss been? Some pride? A knock to the ego? A few cents here or there? And over that, a person is willing to blow up their account and mental health?

Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud. I wonder what you think.

When something goes wrong do you blame others or take ownership, responsibility and action to make adjustments, to control what you can control seeking positive ways forward? When something goes wrong do you see it as a loss or learning? (The right answer here should be learning.) Do you blame others for your actions and expect everyone else other than yourself to rectify the situation?

Let me know what your thoughts might be in the comments if you'd like.