Because I didn't die

It was a Friday like any other and I was looking forward to the weekend; that awesome time of the week when I can do more things I want to do and less of those I have to do. It was going well and then...sirens...a lot of them. There was a workplace accident in the building next to mine and someone died.

Most of us don't go to work thinking, I'm going to die today, most don't think about their death at all, but it's right there waiting to happen and on this particular Friday it happened...but not to me so I went to a cafe after work like usual and sipped some coffee (the one in the image) and thought about the weekend, feeling grateful I had the ability to enjoy it...and not be dead.

I think about death somewhat differently than others, I'm pragmatic about it and like knowing and understanding that it'll happen to me which reminds me that I need to live the best life possible right now because I don't know when it'll end.

It causes me to say and do things a little differently, things like not going to sleep with an unresolved argument between my girlfriend and myself, or angry. I kiss her goodbye every morning and say I love you...things I think I should be doing anyway, but also things that, should I not come home, she will remember fondly after I'm gone.

That chap...the dead one...I wonder if he said that to his wife that Friday morning or if they had harsh words over some trivial matter and he left for work angry. I wonder if his teenage kids had spoken disrespectfully to him over something he'd disciplined them for or if they took the time to give him a hug and say, I appreciate you dad. I'll never know of course but I hope, for those left behind, that their last interactions with him were interactions they won't regret having.

Humans are flawed and fallible and we simply can't do everything right all the time, but we all have the ability to be our best selves, to say nice things to those we love and to treat them well and with respect.

I think people, especially in this selfish, egotistical and hubristic world, should be making an effort to get that right, or as close to right as possible. I think this way because I know many people who haven't come home and how devastating it is on those who are left behind as they try to make sense of harsh words or treatment they can never take back, rectify or address with their dead loved one. Guilt and regret are very poor companions.

I guess everyone will do what they want and that's ok; personally, I want to respect those I value so do and say what I think is the right thing and should I not return home one day or fail to wake up one morning I feel confident that the way I've treated those people will be remembered, celebrated and respected. What about you?