I went outside for a walk and was inspired to play around because most of the snow has melted off. I did a few cartwheels and handstands, of course while wearing tight 100% cotton jeans. I just came back inside and noticed that the jeans were apparently so tight that they caused hematoma on my thighs where they pressed when I was flipping around. I look like I’ve been involved in some adventurous sex. Pretty funny.