So, we are friends or we use to be friends. I don't even know anymore, all I know is that there was a time their company was the best thing I had. But now, we still spend time together but I don't know if I still enjoy their company that much. Truth be told, I don't enjoy their company anymore.
It happened that I had these group of girls I use to move with. We were three. We bonded so well, we really enjoyed each other's company.
We partied together, prayed together and read together.
Image by Levi Guzman from unsplash
We take turns sleeping in each other's house.
we storm out dressed in uniform.
we had a timetable we worked with
Infact we were everything every group of friends ever want to be.
Everyone knew we were friends, we never appeared in isolation.
It was really interesting and this made us quite unique and so many people wished to be like us although only very few admit to it.
It was really going well.
But suddenly, things changed.
They became much closer to themselves.
It all started when they moved in together
They left me out, and today, they have inside jokes I don't understand.
They wear uniform while I look odd and still they make we walk with them not minding how embarrassed I feel.
They don't even use our regular sign languages anymore,they now have theirs.
They whisper to each other and laugh making me look like a fool and lost.
Image by M. Unsplash
Most times I scroll through their social media pages and I see a picture from their outing without me. At times I simply ignore, other times I simply comment "nice pics" and next they are both explaining how they didn't mean to leave me out and how they didn't plan to go out but it just happened. I try to understand all these excuses. But, the most annoying excuse is how they forgot to invite me (this hurts most馃槪). Please can you ever forget someone you value, someone you call a friend, someone important to you. I don't know about you though, but as for me, the answer is NO I can't. So how come they always forget me when they say I am their friend.
Personally I want to walk out, I want to be left alone and maybe make new friends if it is possible, but, they won't let me, they don't make me happy but they won't let me find Happiness, they are ok without me but they still want to keep me around.
They apologise anytime they notice my mood isn't same or anytime I complain and they would complain anytime I decide to be on my own.
But being with them is very painful, being with them makes me to fullly understand a line of Adekule Gold's song titled Fame ..."Sometimes with my friends I feel alone"... But the difference here is that mine is not sometimes but Everytime and i feel trapped
