The rate at which I moved to a different person within a very short space is still a great shock to me and the people who have accompanied me all through this journey.
Just a couple of years ago, I was a timid girl, I wasn't sure about anything at all including what I wanted for myself, I was so uncertain about who I was to the point that I thought that people who read my works were just doing it to impress me. I never believed I was writing something worth reading. That was how far my timidity went, but today I can boldly share my work with everyone.
I used to think I wasn't good at anything. I wrote stories and hit it because I didn't want people to see it, read it and laugh at me. I don't even know what exactly made me like this because I didn't grow up around harsh people. They said that when you grow up around people who don't care, you tend to have these feelings. But, I grew up around my loving family but I was still that way. I was so unsure about everything including me.
I was the queen of introverts. I don't know if all introverts go through exactly what I went through but mine was very much terrible. I preferred to be indoors even though deep down I wanted to be outside, that was me for you, always wishing I had the courage to step outside but still end up locking myself inside. Does that even make sense? I usually think I'm not pretty, I thought I had a terrible body type. Even though I was doing well academically, it just wasn't enough for me because I still felt like a fish out of water.
But, to my greatest surprise, I'm so different right now, I might not be completely proud of myself but at least I don't look down on myself, I don't see myself as the girl who couldn't do anything like before. I don't see myself as a girl who is not good enough because the truth is I am. I don't care about my body type anymore, that's not necessarily to me for now. I even added some weight 馃槀 but who cares, it's my life and I deserve to be happy. Well, I know that's rich coming from a girl that used to believe her writing was crap. But, that was my past, a past I am not so proud of but I'm glad I witnessed. Because who knows, if I hadn't witnessed that part of life, I might not have given room for so much improvement. I might have thought I was perfect thereby wouldn't see any need for improvement. But today I'm a better version of myself.
I passed through a lot to get to where I am today. I cried countless nights, I wished I hadn't been born, I almost gave up, I even had suicidal thoughts. But look at me today, all happy and believe so much in myself. Seriously it's still a shock to me how I got this far it's so difficult to believe I did. No wonder I have got to love Roar by Katy Perry recently. Because it describes how I feel about myself.
