Based purely on timing, and before I even pick some calls, there are some certain numbers on my contact list that just announce themselves because I already know why they are calling. There's one of my guys like that that always calls me whenever he needs something urgent, especially money. And when next he calls again, it is always the same story; nothing changes.
I noticed this pattern properly last year when I was in need of something very important and going through one or two things, watching who reached out with genuine curiosity about how I was holding up and who suddenly resurfaced when I was able to stand on my own two feet again.
I was not even surprised after I was aware and discovered the pattern. Because a lot of people my age might have like learned similar lessons somewhere. But what really got me surprised was how I reacted to the pattern, just the usual me: calm, zero anger, no bitterness in me like it might likely have happened before.
I still pick up my friend's call anytime he calls, knowing fully why he calls and knowing what he will say during the first two sentences after his greeting, and if I can, I still help him, not because he fooled me again, because some relationships that are built partly on usefulness don't automatically mean they don't have worth; they cannot just be compared with those that are built on nothing transactional at all.
What I have thought myself without anyone teaching me is that I'm not detecting who values me for what I can do for them. It's making a choice without resentment, the version of care I am determined to accept from those types of people, and remaining to stay honest with myself about the difference.
Thank you for reading.
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