Mindful Moments: Perfecting The Pause - Chapter Four (for Beta-Readers)

ericvancewalton(80)

Published in

#blog

Words

1466

Reading

7 min

Listen

Play

For those of you who weren’t aware, I made this announcement a month ago about my new book.

In That Original Post I Explained...

Over the next few months, I’ll be rereading all of the post comments, enhancing the posts, and crafting them into the final chapters. When these chapters are complete I’ll have an open call for beta-readers on Hive to read the manuscript and offer feedback.

What Is A Beta-Reader? (from Wikipedia)

Beta Reader: a test reader of an unreleased work of literature or other writing (similar to beta testing in software), who gives feedback from the point of view of an average reader to the author. A beta reader is not a professional and can therefore provide advice and comments in the opinions of an average reader. This feedback is used by the writer to fix remaining issues with plot, pacing, and consistency. The beta reader also serves as a sounding board to see if the book has had the intended emotional impact.

The Process Of Writing Mindful Moments

This book project has been like no other one I’ve ever worked on. First, it’s taken way longer to write than a book written in the traditional way. Secondly, it’s been so much more enjoyable to let the ideas for the chapters naturally bubble up into my imagination.

My whole goal with this book is to offer a the reader simple, succinct introduction to the concept of mindfulness. The chapters are meant to plant a seed of curiosity that sparks a lifelong journey of using mindfulness to improve the quality of your life.

I thank you in advance for your notes and feedback in the comments below. It'll be very valuable to me and help to create a book which, hopefully, helps lots of people improve their lives for many years to come.

Chapter Four - Self Care

As we travel down this crazy road of life one of the largest and most deceptive of all the pitfalls we face is losing ourselves. This is especially true for those of us who are givers, by nature. If you’re a giver it probably makes you profoundly happy to see those around you happy so givers naturally try to spark those feelings of happiness in others. Givers usually develop a reputation for being stable, empathetic, encouraging, capable, and helpful individuals and because of this they naturally become a support system for friends, relatives, and co-workers.

Often people can begin to rely on and expect this kind of support from you even if they don’t, or aren’t capable of, providing you the same support in return. Over time, constantly giving and rarely receiving creates an energy deficit in the giver. This situation can quickly spiral out of control and can end up being an unhealthy drain on our time, emotional, and physical wellbeing. If we find ourselves in these unbalanced relationships it’s a good idea to begin to set some healthy boundaries as we touched on in the previous chapter, Setting Boundaries.

“Self-care is so much more than a beauty regimen or an external thing you do. It has to start within your heart to know what you need to navigate your life. A pedicure doesn’t last, but meditating every day does.” - Carrie-Anne Moss

If we’re paying attention our minds and our bodies will give us clear signals when we’re taking on too much. It’s very important to be constantly mindful of the signals your mind and body are sending you. The signals can be easy to miss if you’re habitually distracted or not paying attention. If you find it difficult to think (a foggy brain), feel frazzled, generally sluggish, and/or irritable, chances are you need to take a pause in your day. These feelings of depletion are like our soul’s check engine light coming on and when that happens it’s wise to pay attention and make some time for self-care.

You may think taking time for yourself is selfish but it’s actually the opposite, it’s truly selfless. After all, it’s impossible to be the best versions of ourselves and help others when we’re constantly feeling physically drained and emotionally overwhelmed.

These moments of self care don’t need to be two-week long vacations in the tropics. Ideally, these moments should be like tiny pause buttons in your day for you to press exactly whenever you need them and feel instant relief. They can also be inserted right into a specific part of your daily schedule when you know you feel regularly stressed, like immediately after you get home from work.

“If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.” - Dalai Lama

[add illustration here]

These pause buttons can be a variety of different things to different people - a secluded reading spot and twenty minutes alone with a good book, a drive alone while listening to the radio, a workout, a walk in the woods, a long soak in a hot bath, a meditation session, an hour long massage. Moments of self care is anything that gives your mind and body a few moments of pause to replenish, recalibrate, and renew your energy. We all have things leave us feeling rejuvenated and it's up to you to identify what works best for you. This takes mindfulness.

Using Tech For Self-Care

It's very helpful to do a mindfulness check-in regularly. A simple way to remind yourself to do this is to set a recurring daily reminder on your mobile device to send you notifications once or twice a day with a messages like:

Is it time to take a PAUSE?

How are you feeling?

or simply,

Take a deep BREATH.

Meditation

This guided meditation can help restore and renew you in a very short amount of time.
Find a quiet place. Sit upright in a comfortable chair with your eyes closed and concentrate on your breath for a count of thirty.

Just thirty seconds of conscious breathing will usually ground you enough where guided meditation can be effective.

INHALE for a count of 5 through your nose (sniff the flower). Envision you’re breathing in a pure, bright, and healing light;
HOLD the breath for a count of 5. Imagine this healing light spreading throughout your body from the tips of your fingers to the tips of your toes;
EXHALE for a count of 7 through your mouth (blow out the candle). Envision the bright light being exhaled and filling the room you’re in; and
Repeat for as long as you like (at least 3 repetitions).

After you practice this very simple meditation technique for even a few minutes it’s very helpful to linger in that place of peace and calm, focusing your mind on preserving and radiating the light within you.

Putting Words Into Action

Now that you’re feeling more centered from the meditation above, take five minutes to think about what things in your life trigger stress and habitually drain your energy. Also began to think and be mindful of the times of the day you typically feel the most depleted. Write these things down in the Notes section at the end of this chapter. Also, never forget you have the power to actively re-engineer your life to maximize your quality of life. Systematically eliminate as many sources of stress as you can so you need to take less and less of these kinds of pauses.

Now contemplate what activities leave you feeling revitalized and refreshed. Use the Notes section at the end of this chapter to list five of your favorite methods of mentally and emotionally de-stressing. When you’re feeling generally frazzled or life is feeling a bit out of control, practice the meditation above then refer back to this chapter’s Notes section as a reminder of what you need to do to rejuvenate and regain a feeling of proper balance again.

[Insert 6 blank “Notes” pages]

In Gratitude,

~ Eric Vance Walton ~

I am an American novelist, poet, traveler, and crypto-enthusiast. If you’ve enjoyed my work please sign up for my author newsletter at my website. Newsletter subscribers will receive exclusive updates and special offers and your information will never be sold or shared.

Alarm Clock Dawn, one of the first full length novels published on the blockchain, and the book that started it all for me can be found HERE. Or Click Here to read it for free on the Steemit blockchain