Designed On Canva
One of the biggest problems young people are faced with is relationships. The quest of finding a life partner is not an easy journey, whenever I count the number of failed relationships I had, I just smile.
Each time I hear people say I have been in a relationship for three, or four years I marvel, like how are they doing it?
Even if they don't end up together, honestly they have tried, it's not easy to have someone in your life who came from a different family, has different beliefs, a different mode of approaching things, and then keep working things out till you get to know each other better.
A lot of patience, tolerance, and understanding have to be sacrificed to attain all that.
I started a relationship very early in life, I think I was around the age of 15. I just wanted to know what this thing called "Love" is all about, unfortunately, I went into it with a baby heart and the wrong ideology.
Back then I thought love is all about having someone to call your lover, who would always be there for you to interact with and keep you from being bored, so it didn't work out well for me. I kept going into different relationships until I got tired of the play and decided to stop.
Unfortunately most people, not just teenagers, even adults still go into relationships with that kind of mindset unknowingly.
Your relationship will not last if it is not defined, if it's just something you are doing for doing sake or for fun, you will easily get tired and want to leave for no tangible reasons.
It is not enough to be mature by age and be financially stable, to go into a relationship you need to be sure you know what you are about to go into and that you are prepared for it. Don't do a relationship because you feel you are missing out, or you are always bored and alone, it won't last, and you won't value it.
Most of us need to know that the primary reason for a relationship also known as courtship is to prepare ourselves for marriage. It's a practice for two individuals to understand themselves and verify whether they are compatible or not.
It's so pathetic that in our day, the definition is something else, we are far from what it was meant for, and that is why we keep confusing ourselves and hurting each other for nothing.
Back To Me
I was in this relationship last year. It took a long time for the lady to accept me because she just left a relationship where she had not been appreciated.
As a sharp guy, I gave her reason to believe that I came to stay and to cover up for what was lost. Endurance finally accepted me after some months of persistence. The relationship was hot. Most people thought we were going to end up together.
My family knows her and her family knows me too, it was like something that was finished already.
Some months into the relationship, I started getting tired, she was always coming around, always calling and demanding attention even when I was busy.
I spoke to her about it and the kind of work I do and she agreed to give me the time I require, with the condition that I will call or drop her a message when I am free. We both kept to our words but she still complained from time to time.
So, being the good-hearted person that I am, I told her Let's end things so she wouldn't be hurt by my lack of attention and time for her.
At first, she thought I was joking until, I stopped most of the things I used to do when we started new. She apologized and promised to adapt but I refused and insisted we just remain friends for her own good.
She was so hurt and I felt bad too but I just wanted to be alone, have my space, and concentrate, I didn't want to be a burden to her with my lifestyle.
Can I cope with that currently?
"Yes," no matter our busy schedule, we should be able to make time for those we love. I regretted letting the lady go but it's life, when we fail, we learn.
In conclusion
Relationship is not something we should just jump into because of what we feel inside, beyond the affection. If you are not ready for the commitment attached, please let the person be else, you will fail.
And if care is not taken, you will just keep hurting innocent people for nothing. Affection (Feelings) is not enough to date, it's just one material out of the many that are needed.
