As much as I believe that communication is very vital when it come s to human interactions, I also believe that most times "Ghosting" can be a necessary evil. You know, before I lose my mind trying to be friend and things are going south, I better just slip into the background and let you get on with your life. Ghosting is not something new, everyone has had a fair share, both at the giving and the recieving end.
There’s this guy I met through my friend when we went for a three-day religious program sometime ago. You know those people you meet through other people and they automatically become part of the group because you keep seeing them wherever your friend is. That was how we met. All through the three days he kept showing up with my friend (who was his friend too) and before you knew it we were a group, me, him, my other friends. We would hang out, play games and just have fun like friends do. We all had each other’s numbers and when we didn’t meet in person we checked up on each other online.
I don’t know about other people but after meeting someone for the first time, I usually know if you’re the kind of person I want to keep close. This guy, I didn’t really see him as someone I would want to keep close. His vibes were nothing like mine and everything felt off. But I tolerated him so I wouldn’t be the weird one in the group. People were saying “that’s just how he is” and that I shouldn’t take things personally. I said "okay, fine".
After the program ended we all went separate ways and I never contacted him again. He was the one who would occasionally hit me up and we’d talk, but I made it clear I didn’t want to be his friend. He had this attitude of saying things without thinking and a lot of the time he said things that came off as disrespectful or offensive. The next time we met, after I’d been trying to avoid him, he was his usual self, unnecessarily loud, and he made a comment about me with an offensive sexual undertone that he craftily tried to disguise as a joke. In front of my dad too. I mean, he came all the way to where I was having lunch with my family and couldn’t even compose himself. My dad ended up questioning my choices of friends.
After that incident I drew the line. I can’t be friends with someone who has no boundaries and who always dismisses things as “a joke.” That means he didn’t take me seriously and acted like I was the problem because I take things seriously.
So I ghosted him. I didn’t reply his texts or calls. I avoided him physically. Last week we had another program and I met him again, this time he knew his place. Our interaction wasn’t more than a five-second greeting and that was it.
I don’t regret it at all because I tried to make him understand how I felt and he never apologized or showed any sign of wanting to change. So yeah, why keep him around? Everyone has their own standards and choices to make. If a friendship doesn’t work with a certain person, I don’t stress over it. I’ve been ghosted by people who were close to me, but that doesn’t bother me, especially when I know I haven’t wronged them. My introverted self is a bonus, I enjoy my own company as much as I’d love to have people around me. Most times, people just grow apart, and that’s fine.
