If there's one thing I've always wanted to incorporate in my child-raising, then it'll definitely be the aspect of open communication. Now, I'm in my twenties. I have no kids but I would totally love to have just a few in the future. I grew up in the typical African home, well-behaved and disciplined and when I get kids of my own, I'm going to try as much as I can to bring them up in the same manner of discipline as I was raised. While growing up, I noticed that a lot of things were better left unsaid in most African homes. Especially when it comes to sexuality and romantic relationships. Imagine telling your African mother you like someone in your class or in the neighborhood.
Ahhh!
Do you want to get pregnant and bring shame to the family?
That's a much expected reaction from most mothers and a lot of people can relate to it.
I know a list so many different topics people think will be strange to bring up in the African setting. It got me thinking, if the child I conceived in my own womb can't tell me what is going in his/her mind, then what am I doing as a parent?
I don't think communication has anything to do with being African or not. It's an integral part of human existence. So for me, there is no such thing as not having that sex talk with my kids no matter how difficult it may seem. My mom had it with me, I mean I can remember that fateful day my mom called me and my sister and she was like, " do you know what those things on your chest are?" We all had a good laugh at that question because it was really funny the way she asked it and after that she made her point clear the matter and taught us everything we needed to know. That single talk help me a lot as a teenager to avoid getting exposed the wrong way and I was no longer skeptical about bringing up any matter of concern to my mom whenever I want.
Kids are very vulnerable and easy to manipulate. Someone with bad intentions might hurt a child and say "don't tell your mom I did this or I'll kill you" The child will fearfully agree because he/she doesn't want to die. When there is no open communication between the parents and the kids, they might end up growing up with a lot of hidden scars no one know about and it will haunt them forever.
I had a niece back then that will always tell her mom every little thing you do to her. If you share her snacks and ask her not to tell her mom, she would almost swear that she won't, only for you find out the next day that her mom knows everything. I admire this because I know it might not be absolutely possible to be with my child every second of the day. I want to be comfortable knowing that whatever goes on in my absence, good or bad, my child will be able to tell me without any fear of being shut-up.
