Anyways, I'm just gonna leave this right here.
#endthesilence
Dear Eric,
During this eclipse, I can't help but reflect on the last 2 years of life and you're part to play in it. And while I'm grateful in retrospect for the hard won lessons I've learned, you're an abuser and I still live in regret for ever letting you close to me.
I won't rehash all the stories here. People are aware the relationship was domestically abusive. They're aware that you crushed my hands leaving me nearly handicap for 8 weeks. They know how you held me down several times, screamed in my face and at the end even threatened to take my life.
They know my mom had to call the cops on you twice for trapping me in your home and driving me into full hysteria.
People are aware that the abuse in our relationship led me to daily panic attacks, deep depression, and eventually suicidal ideations.
People are already aware of how you gaslit me, ignored me, blamed me and then lied to our community about what happened.
I don't need to tell them that.
In fact I stopped wasting my breath trying to prove to everyone what a deutchebag you are awhile ago, for the sake of my own heart and mind.
There was already enough betrayal trauma after we broke up, and then more got added when my socalled 'friends' stood with you.
I watched people continue to support you, be friends with you, book you, and even date you after becoming aware of how you hurt me.
And I understand what it's like to overlook what people have done to harm others and justify it by saying it's compassion just to get my own needs met.
Hey, some people believe me unsafe, and after this drama I would say yeah, if you wanna date me be careful. I've been mad hurt and there's a lot of healing I need to do.
If you wanna get close to me in general, know that I've been hurt and I am healing and sometimes I get triggered so I need extra care.
I'm in therapy. Doing the work. Holding myself accountable. Accepting the reprocussions of my decisions.
Doing. The. Work.
You refuse therapy and refuse accountability.
You've never apologized for hurting me.
You mask the truth with toxic positivity.
I've apologized 1,000 times.
I'm over taking all the blame.
Maybe people don't believe me because you seem so charming, popular, and funny in public. No one sees how you can become an absolute monster behind closed doors.
No one knows but your wake of ex girlfriends and your mom, who you're still dependent on by the way. She taught you how to treat women like that in the first place.
Actually it was your Dad who taught you that women deserved to be treated this way. That it was okay to threaten their lives. You have said the most disgusting things to your own mother. And to me. And others. And you know it.
But I won't show you your own shadow anymore after this.
I'm just glad I was strong enough to get out. Not every woman is. I was traumatized before we met, and now I'm even more traumatized. So thanks. but I guess that's how it goes.
Guys like you are attracted to women like me. Women with emotional scars. We're easy to get attached and even easier to control. But guess what. You can't control how I feel anymore.
I'm learning a lot about narcissistic abuse and domestic violence through this. I'm learning how to spot a guy like you a mile away.
I'm learning to say OH HELL NO. BOY BYE. NOT WORTH SACRIFICING MY LIFE.
And shit, I really I hope your new girlfriend gets this warning.
I hope she doesn't have to learn the hard away about who you are like I did. You cheated on me with her. You slept with her in our bed. Great way to start a healthy relationship.
I also hope all of my 'friends' who support and or kick it with you know that you're supporting a guy who threatened to kill me, who handicapped me, and who continues to go around peacocking on the dancefloor thanks to his new social connections.
It's another reason why the Ecstatic Dance scene is predominantly GROSS and creeping with predators and abusers under the guise of 'free expression'.
Ew. People warned me it was cringey in the Portland dance scene but I had no idea.
And the kind of permission you're getting by misleading leaders in the dance community in Portland to think you're safe is opening up the potentiality for more women to get hurt.
Believe me or don't believe me.
I have x-rays and recordings to prove it.
You're an abuser, Eric. You need help.
Bright Full Moon Blessings.
-EMRA
