I've been on a journey of healing for a while. First, I worked on being mindful and getting out of my head more often.
Then, I sort clarity, but now I see a big problem. A problem that has puzzled me for a long time.
A problem that is right under my nose, I see it everyday but I refuse to acknowledge that, this might just be a big reason why my life went downhill.
I acknowledge that I've been infected by the evil deeds done towards me.
When mother nature deals bitterly with a frog, the frog continues living not with bitterness, but with more information added to its instincts.
The human being is very different. We have a bigger brain and can attach bitterness to the lessons learned.
If you've ever had a cat or dog before, you might already be aware of this trait in them.
The sounds you make to call them for food. The move you make before you punish them for wrong doing, they become aware of it but it never stops them from being your beloved pets.
I didn't know they learn that much until I had a cat at my old apartment. - Whenever it takes food that I didn't plan on giving it, there was a way I approached it to try to hit it. Don't worry, it was always a gentle hit considering the size of the cat relative to mine.
After a while, I noticed it had noticed when it was eating wrong meat.
It would take it and when it sees me approaching, it starts running.
But after running away it comes right back to sleep next to my bed.
That's what instincts detached from bitterness is. If only we could learn to do that.
The reason they are probably able to do that is because they may not have the ability to be bitter at all. Some instinctively hold some form of grudge against somethings.
The pain some carry can make them do things to others that unleashes the same pain to those people.
He insulted me, I got angry and started being rude to the one telling me to let it go.
Of course you might say there's a difference between avenging the death of a loved one and causing destruction because you're hurt.
I'm looking not at the purpose but the process.
He had to kill because his dog was killed. He killed a lot of people that were connected to other people. Any one of those connected people could try to kill John Wick in an attempt to avenge their loved ones too. If they succeed in killing him, John Wick also has people that know him that could try to avenge him.
The killing continues forever.
That's how wars last centuries. It might change in the weapons used, the people fighting but it is like a tree which had its roots from the very first hurt person who decided to act on the pain.
Thankfully, no one has hurt me enough to think of great evil being done but I understand my mind can get there so I have a responsibility of keeping my heart pure and staying away from people that I know like to hurt people because evil is infectious.
