Infidelity or Cheating is a violation of a couple's assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity. Other scholars define infidelity as a violation according to the subjective feeling that one's partner has violated a set of rules or relationship norms; this violation results in feelings of sexual jealousy and rivalry.
The question is... Why do people CHEAT? Is it because they're not satisfied with their partner or is it just for fun? Are they trying to explore something they couldn't find on their partners? Like, attention, love, and affection? If they do, so what went wrong? Why would the betrayal come? Or, to ask another way, again, why do people cheat?
How could someone they trusted and loved - and who they thought loved them back – betray them in such a shocking and hurtful way? There’s usually not only a sense of anger and upset, but also total disbelief. And the famous phrase is “once a cheater, always a cheater” true?
Can you imagine, you are giving all the love you could give but it is not enough for them? Ending, you are just wasting your time trying to give all the love you could give to the wrong person? - Some of you might probably say "wrong person agad?" or "everybody deserves a second chance". -I might agree with the second one. Yes everybody deserves a second chance.
The reasons people cheat may varied, but there are numbers that crop up time and again in the counselling room. If you’re currently struggling to understand why this has happened to you, you may want to seek help from an expert when it comes to infidelity.
Is the feeling that you and your partner have drifted apart. In this case, cheating can feel like a way of finding something new and exciting when your relationship has become predictable and familiar. A sense of disconnection from one’s partner can happen for a variety of reasons. There may be a lack of proper communication in the relationship (talking about specific issues or just generally keeping in touch about how you feel). Or life may have become dominated by work or looking after kids, so time together has become more functional than loving.
Sometimes, affairs occur at times when you might assume people would be the most secure in their relationship, such as after getting engaged or when someone is pregnant. But worries over-commitment can be very destabilizing. Sometimes, people can sabotage what they have, consciously or unconsciously, as a way of rejecting feelings of responsibility.
You might want to talk to your partner about their definition of infidelity. People have different ideas about what constitutes cheating and partners need to develop consensus. It is easier to understand where the boundaries are and what will hurt your partner if you have had an open discussion about it. Most people agree that sex with another person constitutes infidelity but the reaction to other behaviors can be more nuanced. Does going out for lunch with an attractive coworker constitute infidelity? What about sexy chat sessions with strangers online? Open discussions about such questions will help set boundaries and hopefully avoid hurt feelings down the line.
If you are a person who struggles with infidelity, as a victim or participant, it is important to get help, through therapy or books by professionals with advanced degrees in psychology. "Once a cheater, always a cheater” does not have to ring true for you. 15 Powerful Steps for Surviving Infidelity in Your Relationship
Continue to have new experiences, not sexual per se, but across the board, and make them as intense as possible: you want to bring fresh energy and curiosity, and avoid anything that is consistent or repetitive. Bring the Veuve, the boldness and the playfulness you’d have in an affair to your home.
As hard as it might be to believe, an affair doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship. If your partner truly regrets what has happened, and is willing to end the affair and you’re both prepared to put the work into finding your way back, there’s no reason why you can’t save your relationship. Of course, many couples come to the conclusion that their relationship has run its course—with the affair being a symptom of what was wrong, rather than the cause.
Whatever the case, trying to examine the issues together is your best chance to make sense of things. The person who has cheated will need to take responsibility for their own their behaviour as wrong and not make excuses and although it can be very difficult for the person who has been cheated on both partners will need to acknowledge their responsibility for what was wrong with the relationship prior to this happening. :)
Always remember this before committing: "Don't be someone's downtime, spare time, part time or sometime. If they can't be there for you all of the time, then they're not even worth your time"
Start your day with a big smile on your face and be blessed to have your partner in life not just a lover but a friend that you can lean on. :) Love your partner with all your heart; love them unconditionally. 💓💓💓
Have a Happy Monday Folks~! 💓💓💓
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