One thing I have always believed is that we are who we choose to be. Our culture doesn’t determine who we become, nor does our religion define us. Even our upbringing has only a limited influence on the kind of people we eventually become, and I will explain why.
There has always been a notion about certain tribes and the traits commonly associated with them in my country. Growing up, I believed many of those stereotypes until I got older and had the opportunity to meet and interact with people from those tribes myself.
For example, I was made to believe that Ijebu people are stingy, but that is not 100% true. Just as there are stingy people from Ijebu, there are stingy people from every other tribe. I was also told that people from Ibadan are promiscuous, which is also not 100% true. Often, someone has a bad experience with one person from a particular tribe and then assumes everyone from that tribe is the same. Over time, that misinformation spreads.
Even though I have been friends with someone from Ibadan who, in some ways, seemed to confirm that stereotype, I still can’t judge an entire group of people based on the actions of one or two individuals.
I believe we are who we choose to be. We become what we decide to become, not simply because of our upbringing or what people teach us.
When people blame others for their sins or bad behavior, I find it difficult to accept. If someone told them to put their hand in a fire, they wouldn’t do it because they know the consequences. In the same way, when someone is pressured into doing something wrong, the pressure may influence the decision, but they still make the choice. Sometimes, all they needed was a little push toward something they already wanted to do.
The same applies to people who cheat in relationships. They do not necessarily cheat because they were raised poorly or because of their tribe or culture. While they may have been influenced by friends, social media, or their environment, cheating is ultimately a personal decision. External pressure may encourage the behavior, but each person still chooses whether to give in or resist. In many cases, they succumb because, at some level, they were already willing to do it.
When you meet people who refuse to cheat in a relationship, it isn’t always because they are deeply in love, afraid of losing their partner, or trying to keep a promise. Some people choose not to cheat because it goes against their values. They have no desire to live that way, and they also understand that faithfulness can protect them from emotional pain and sexually transmitted infections. It is simply part of who they are.
Culture, religion, and upbringing all play important roles in shaping us. They influence our thinking and values, but they do not completely determine the people we become. At the end of the day, our choices and character have the final say.
Just call me Burl.
I am a professional gamer, motivational speaker and a crypto enthusiast
Discord: burlarj
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God exists, I am a living testimony
Giving up is not an option, every hustler has a payday
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