One of my friends called me over with a group of friends to discuss his wedding. When I got there, I was quiet for over 80% of my time, and this wasn’t because I had nothing to say I was observing how the group was trying to influence the guy who was about to be married to spend a lot of money. I know he has the money but with the conversation and the things I heard from him, I knew instantly that he wasn’t trying to please himself or do what was right for himself, He was trying to do what people think might be right for his own wedding.
The truth is, there is nothing bad in trying to bring your friends together and organize a beautiful wedding for yourself, but my presence there and the conversation let me know that people actually have expectations, and not only that they have expectations of their own, they also want to know people's expectations on them and a perfect example is thinking that what with people say if you don’t have a big wedding. This has nothing to do with your pocket or your money You just want to have a big wedding because that's what people expect you to do which is where I don’t like the idea.
People’s expectations
I’ve been in gatherings where people who are close to you will say things like ‘I’m not forcing you to do a certain thing, but I think it will be better if you do it a certain way.’ They are trying to use psychology on you because they know that if they command it, you will not agree After all, you already have an idea in your head, but if they put the idea in your head, you will think that you are the one making the decision but in reality, you’re actually dancing to their tune. You are not doing what is best for you and are doing things based on people’s expectations.
Expectation is a little bit different from competition. Some people will tell you that you’re not in competition with anybody which is true but they want to fulfill people's expectations. I’m not saying that you should ignore everybody’s expectations of yourself, but when it comes to finances picking up people's expectations will only kill your years of labour because you will be forced to spend the money you don’t have. We have some people in Nigeria after marriage for years they will be in debt.
You let people project it
It is normal for people to rate you higher than what you’re not especially if you’re contented, but it would be stupid of you to lie to yourself in the process. You’ll be a fool to think that just because they rate you so high you have to do big things for yourself to meet the expectations. A good example is people thinking you have a lot of money and that, when you want to celebrate your wedding, you need to go beyond your means just to prove them right.
I am not saying that you should not do a big wedding. I’m not saying that you should not make yourself happy. I’m not saying all those things what I’m trying to say financially when you’re not capable of something, admit it and do what you can at that time, There is always another time and another day when you are in a better position, you can do more, but don’t lie to yourself because at the end of the day you will be the only one to face the consequences of the decision you’ve made.
