I have come to realise that expectations play a very vital role in the way people experience life. For example, in relationships, career, academics, business, etc, people often have expectations about how things will unfold. It is true that expectation is good, because it can give someone motivation and direction. But unmanaged expectation can easily lead someone to disappointment, frustration, stress, and even unnecessary conflict. This is why you have to learn how to manage your expectations.
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There is a friend of mine whose uncle is a senior officer in the military; airforce. So he hoped that he would put him in the airforce when he was done with schooling, because he also wanted to be in the airforce. He had already discussed it with him about it and he okayed the idea. At that time, the uncle was part of the recruitment team, so it was easy to put in anyone he wanted to. When he finished from school, with high expectations, he gave his uncle his documents to help put him in into the airforce, but things did not work the way he had planned. He was thinking that it would be immediate and instant. But days turned to weeks, and to months, still hoping for his name to come out as a flight officer, because that was the rank he applied for.
After a while of waiting, he reached out to his uncle again, and that was when he opened up to him about the challenges he was facing in the office. He was even suspended from the recruitment team and was facing a probe relating to employment irregularities linked to his office. His expectations came crashing down before him. After months of waiting, he decided to apply directly and follow all the required processes involved instead of waiting to be handed over the job on a platter. Luckily, he got shortlisted for the rigorous recruitment process. He realised that his success may not be instant as he expected, but will follow certain processes. Finally, he got in after a while. Imagine if he was still expecting his uncle to fix him in, he would have waited for so long, because the case lasted long. He limited his expectations on his uncle and took his destiny in his hands.
More often than not, an expectation is a belief that something will happen in the future. For example, as a student, after you have studied hard, you will expect to achieve academic excellence. As an employee, you will expect to be promoted after years of hard work and dedication. Even as a friend, you will expect loyal friendship. There is nothing wrong with having expectations, but where the problem arises is when the expectation becomes unrealistic, irrational, inflexible, or disconnected from reality.
You have to understand that life is largely unpredictable, and as such, you need to learn how to manage your expectations. No matter how careful your plans may be, some certain unplanned circumstances can just arise. It can arise as unexpected challenge, setbacks, delays, or maybe a change from the normal way of life. The people who expect life to go exactly as they have planned it may be disappointed when life begins to take unexpected turns and twists. This is why you have to learn to adapt, so that you will still maintain your emotional stability when things are not going the way that you have expected.
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Managing your expectations can protect your emotional and mental well-being. Unrealistic expectations is part of what puts someone into unnecessary pressure. Imagine someone who is going into business and expecting instant success in it, or someone starting to learn a skill and expect to gain mastery in the same day, or a situation becoming perfect. This will just end up putting the person under undue and unnecessary pressure. It is by managing your expectations that will help you to stay patient and realistic during the growth phase of your life.
It is when you learn to manage your expectations that you will become more grateful. You will even see the things that you have already, which you should be appreciative of. The people who constantly expect more always tend to overlook the progress they have made, the opportunities they have, and even the blessings that are already in their lives. With the heart of gratitude, your focus will shift from what is missing to what is already available.
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