Yes I'm busy, no I can't have coffee right now and NO I won't apologize.
Today I was busy.... Very busy. We're preparing for a 2 month visit in South Africa which includes deep cleaning our home, packing and taking care of some last minute shopping and arrangements.
Today a friend wanted to come for coffee to say goodbye before our impending trip and I felt like I did not want to break my flow. I was on a roll and knowing myself once I sat down to coffee with a friend my desire to get on with the job would be zero so I asked her not to stop in.
What happened next took my breath away. Instead of understanding and being supportive she got petulant and cross with me.
She couldn't understand that I couldn't take 5 minutes out for a coffee. My point was. I'm busy. I needed to finish. If I stop I wouldn't feel like going on and I've got only 2 more days before an extended holiday in another country with people coming to stay in my house. She reminded me that she had to work this afternoon and couldn't come when it suited me better. Immediately belittling my job as a housewife I feel. My reply was I'm sorry. We'll need to see if we can reschedule. She was not satisfied.
I don't dare write this on my blog or Facebook page or the friendship will be over. But sometimes one needs to be able to say no. I don't say NO nearly enough and our doors are open to all and sundry. Today I felt I needed to do what needed to be done. I've put this time aside and it's important to me to get it done.
I didn't say no to make my friend feel less important. I said no because sometimes I need to be able to say no and to have my friends understand the why. Not to jump on a high horse and take it personally. I offered to reschedule but she declined so I decided that I'll put it behind me and move on. Unfortunately the incident upset me too. I felt like I was rude when the intention was not that.
Was I wrong? Was she wrong? Were both of us wrong? 馃
The friendship is ok for now. Perhaps a bit shaky after today. Perhaps 2 months away will make the heart grow fonder. Who knows. All that I know is that sometimes my no is my no and I need to hold on to that for my own sanity.
All photos are my own
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