I am a girl whom life has given a lot of reasons to not trust anyone. I've been emotionally wrecked too many times and each experience always brought me negative messages that said "maybe you're cursed, you should hide, your place is in the shadows, no one will ever love you, you're not enough...". It was a reoccurring thing.

In the past I really used to feel unloved and unlucky. I was that child that was always involved in trouble, always unfortunate. I wrote about my bullying experience about a month ago and how I battled with insecurity because I had small breasts and people really used to insult me and made fun of me.

This made me become comfortable with staying in the shadows even though I felt deep within me that I was meant for more. No matter how insignificant a thing was, if I was asked to do it I'd shy away. Darkness was my best companion. I would always pray that night would come quickly so I could have peace in the stillness of it. Of course in the dark nothing could be seen and that was another reason why I loved it. I wanted to disappear but never knew how to, I got lost in writing.

I started keeping diaries. I would pen down everything that happened in a book as though I was communicating with another person. Sincerely I craved friendship with someone else but I couldn't find that and I felt trouble was going to follow me everywhere I went and so I kept to myself. Even though I had graduated from high school and wasn't around those people who bullied me anymore I was still afraid. I felt like "no, it hasn't stopped because you're no more in school, anyone could do it to you again". I was just really afraid. Afraid to be noticed, afraid to get into trouble, afraid to be mocked.

Then I Watched The Greatest Showman

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The Greatest Showman is really one of my favourite movies. Apart from the fact that this movie was filled with amazing soundtracks, there was a particular scene that reflected my life perfectly. It was the part when Keala Settle and a group of other people were not allowed into the main party hall because of their imperfect looks. Then immediately Keala Settle began to sing This Is Me. I listened closely to the lyrics and sincerely I let the tears roll down for a while. Even though it was just an act, it was a true representation of the way people are treated because they're physically imperfect in a way.

This song felt like a wakeup call to me. Like something was telling me, you've been hiding enough, go out there and let everyone see that this is you! It was a message to me, to come in terms with who I am, get comfortable in my own skin, be myself unapologetically. So I began to fight the negativities in my head, I began writing down amazing facts about myself and daily I would try to remind myself about how much of a good person I am.

But after I listened to Emeli Sandé's Extraordinary Being, it changed my whole life for good.

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That fateful morning, I was going through some videos on Facebook and saw that a friend made a video of herself with this song. It was a short video so I didn't get to hear enough of it, just a few seconds and I loved it. I had to go and search for the full song.

The Lyrics

You are what God imagined, you are a true perfection.
Baby, you're made of stars, don't let nobody tell you different.
You are a lot of soul, mixed with a lot of magic
Look how the sky turns gold every time you're dancing
You deserve all the love, why don't you let it in?
Don't punish who you are for who once you have been
You've got a heart of fire, it's gonna take you higher
Just let it flow, look at you glow, you gotta know

That you're an extraordinary being
Yes, you're an extraordinary being

See, your anatomy is made up of those before you
Gold is your history, you're standing upon their shoulders
See, you're a China getting to hide the cowards
Look how you're flying now, check out your super powers
You deserve peace of mind, you deserve all the laughter
You are one of a kind, you deserve happy ever after
Oh, how the tides are changing, feel how your heart is blazing
You gotta breathe, you gotta see, you gotta believe

That you're an extraordinary being
Yes, you're an extraordinary being, that's right
Yes, you're an extraordinary being
Oh, you're an extraordinary being

It's not your fault that you're magic
Baby, you're pure fantastic
Endless love like the ocean
Sing your song and be certain
If the world kicks you to zero
Spread your wings like an eagle
Raise your hand to the sun
And know that you are someone

Yes, you're an extraordinary being (you are, you are)
Yes, you're an extraordinary being (that's right)
Oh, you're an extraordinary being (hit me with the duel-up)
Extraordinary being

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This song became everything to me. It inspired me to forget about whatever I didn't do right in the past and focus on the better person I was becoming and the new levels life was taking me. I made bold the lines that meant so much to me and I would speak it to myself daily. It was a long journey of healing, unlearning and accepting that I deserve all the good things and not the terrible things I've been through. Through this song I learnt to love myself much more, be confident in myself and celebrate my strengths rather than capitalize on my weaknesses.

So if you're having a hard time loving yourself, seeing the sweet soul in you, you lack motivation and everything just seem a little upside down at the moment, I recommend this song to you. You're an extraordinary being!

Thank you for reading!