I woke up inspired to share my thoughts on this by the conversation I had last night with my girl, Sweetness. Sweetness is in a situationship and yesterday, she came home looking a little mad. She had dropped by her not-so-partner’s house to pick up something and ended up spending the night.
According to her, they’ve been cool all day. She made them breakfast, cleaned up after and proceeded to work on a research while he worked. He seemed to be having a stressful day at work so she was conscious to not distract him in any way. At 5pm he got off work, she made noodles and they ate together.
Sweetness said she had mentioned earlier around 4pm that she was ready to go home. He tried to call any of his personal commercial motorcyclists to come take her home. After several calls, one agreed to come but by 6pm with reason being that the community masquerades were out and it was unsafe for people to move around at the time. Unfortunately when the coast was clear by 6, the cyclist couldn’t be reached.
Sweetness waited a bit with hopes that her not-so-partner would maybe ask her to chill for a few minutes till he can get someone else to come take her home or hit the road with her so they can wait for a passing rider. After minutes of no communication she decided to bounce.
Sweetness: If your commercial motorcyclists are unavailable then I should hit the road and wait for one.
Her not-so-partner: Hope you’re not forgetting anything?
(He opens the door and lets her out. That’s it.)
As told by Sweetness, usually they’d share a hug and a kiss before he lets her out of the door but that didn’t happen. What pissed her off was that he couldn’t pause his Netflix watch to see her off even if it was to stop her downstairs, at the gate.
She also said it was wrong of him to not even communicate to her that he wouldn’t be able to see her off.
In all of these, I wondered why she didn’t express her disappointment to her not-so-partner. Her response was simply “I couldn’t”, with her reasons being that first, they have an undefined relationship and she felt she had no right to complain about him not seeing her off. Secondly, he seemed to have a rough time at work and didn’t want to appear insensitive and lastly, she wasn’t sure if she should make it an issue since he’s been sweet on other occasions. And that’s the problem!
The emotional rollercoaster that situationships bring are not worth it. The inconsistencies, the back and forth, internalizing stuffs like this that you could simply talk through and being all mad and sad over someone that is not yours is just crazy!
I wasn’t sure what advice to give my girl as my previous advices fell on deaf ears but there’s only one effective method I know for navigating ambiguity in undefined romantic relationships – do not be in one!
Well, what’s your take on situationships and the situation generally?
Have you ever been in one and how did/is that going for you?
How do you think people can navigate ambiguity in undefined relationships?
N/B This post is a day late as I slept off while trying to post it last night.
Images used are mine.
