How we managed for the last twenty-odd years with our former small kitchen is beyond me. The constant moans of "Can you get out of the kitchen? There's no room!" had been a constant over the years of a Sunday when the roast was being cooked. After much negotiating, the missus had agreed to block the door off. This allowed us to have a work surface that runs the length of the kitchen. Cooking Sunday dinner last weekend was absolute bliss. But wait, we've not got that far yet.
The kitchen turned up on the back of a 10-tonne lorry that conveniently blocked the service road come Cul-de-Sac that I live in. "You'll have to bear with me; it might take a while as my driver is out of hours and on a break, so it's just me unloading." said the guy clutching our delivery note. I couldn't watch him do it all himself, plus I needed to clear the road as quickly as possible before the neighbours lynched me, so we proceeded to unload flatpacks and carry them into the house. Three-quarters of the way through, I must have started wheezing because the delivery guy suddenly looked very concerned: "I'll carry on, mate; why don't you go inside?" clutching the side of the lorry because I was worried it might move, obviously, I said: "You're OK mate, I'm not ready to pop my clogs and keel over just yet." A few moments later, the delivery guy looked worried again I felt my chest, no, it's definitely beating so I'm not dead yet? "Have you seen a red bag?" said the delivery guy. No, I hadn't, but more importantly "Where's the oven?" I said. The oven, the red bag with all the screws and fittings, plus some panels were missing! "This is always happening. It's the loaders! They work nights, but they're on 'job and finish', so once they've loaded all the lorries, they can go home but get paid for the night, so they sling anything on and bugger off." well, that doesn't help me!
And to think the wife had the bright idea to leave this lot on the drive for a couple of days until the fitter was ready. 🤦♂️
The electrition started replacing ancient electrics "Do you want any extra points? I could put a double plug over by where the washing machine will be." Of course, her indoors, who has zero visualisation ability, said she only wanted two double plugs on the main wall. Now that we are nearing the end, we realise not only could we have done with the extra double plug suggested but also with the double plug where the kettle used to live; it's too late now; all the tiles are up! 🙈
The black bucket is very important! It's protecting the Internet! That purple CAT5 cable runs under the stairs from the router to the front room on the other side of that wall.
Next up was the plasterer. He was a nice bloke who did us a favour and patched in a part of the ceiling that a previous plasterer had not done the best job with when we had a leak a few years ago. I would have liked the whole room plastered, but the bloke said he was only being paid for, in effect, filling in where the fitter had instructed him to. It was now a waiting game for the plaster to dry.
It's incredible how you can manage with only a few things: a kettle, a microwave, and an Air Fryer. If you don't own an Air Fryer, get one! I promise you'll thank me for it; we're getting a new double one for Christmas. This is how we lived for over a week, but that's not the worst. My mother-in-law washed my underpants two weeks running!
Me: "Has your mum ironed my underpants?"
Wife: "Probably, you know what she's like."
Me: "Who in their right mind irons underwear?"
Wife: "Are you moaning?"
Me: "No, I'm worried!"
Wife: "Worried about what?"
Me: "I'm worried she's been wearing my underpants around her house; she does live on her own, you know!"
In Part 3
Yeah, I know; I promised to talk about the tiles. Like my missing items, they're coming in part 3 or possibly part 4; who knows? 🤷♂️
Will the panel, the red bag and the oven turn up?
"They've sent a tap. We cancelled the tap; we've bought our own!"
My actual name is Pete. Here is why I have the username dickturpin.
| https://mastodon.org.uk/@dick_turpin | |
| https://castlecannon.house/profile/dick_turpin | |
|
|
https://twitter.com/dick_turpin |
| https://www.facebook.com/peter.cannon3 |
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
