I and my friend were discussing our goals and restructuring what could be. Our conversation brought me to a line of thought and I said I had to write about it. That thought was about goals, habits and rest. 2025 made me appreciate rest periods and view things in a new light.
My friend had her goals written down but I noticed they were quite numerous. It was beautiful how she broke it all down but then, I know her. To an extent, I believe I know how much she can do and how easily she gets overwhelmed. I brought this to her attention and gave pointers on what exactly she should focus on and what should go. To do this, let’s look at what goals and habits are.
These are specified targets in your life. Maybe you hope to build or achieve something, you set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound) goals.
Goals are not meant to be draining, it shouldn’t put any pressure more than necessary when it comes to the life you want to create for yourself. If your goals aren’t SMART, chances are you would struggle with little to no results.
So before setting goals, you need to do a mental calculation of your own ability to reach them. The reason is, you don’t want to get to the point where you believe you’re a failure just because you couldn’t meet goals which were most likely out of your league at that point in time. One of the ways to this is to track your actions underneath these goals – like branches.
You have a goal and there are follow up actions on that with outlined strategies and daily tasks. If these goals mean a lot to you, you would do it.
These are behaviours you’ve built over time. It’s most likely akin to breathing for you and not something you can negotiate.
Your habits can range in hierarchy from the least to the highest or highest to least. Chances are whatever you first think of or do the moment you open your eyes tops the priority list. For me, it’s my spiritual relationship. I’m up at 5am for prayers and bible study until almost 7am each morning.
Following that are a few good minutes of stretchy exercises and hydrating myself with lemon water. Then it’s work and the rest follows. Your habits can be improved, relearned, and unlearned if you so desire it. This is where discipline comes to play. You got to stay consistent on it despite your feelings.
The thing about goals is that it sets your mind on course. It’s like a map that helps you get to where you’re going. But what happens when we begin to fill goal slots with habits? It becomes draining. I’ll explain.
My friend had her goals for January down, but I noticed there were things she wrote down as goals that shouldn’t even be there. Why? She already was living in some of them.
Many times, we make the mistake of using goal fillers. Not every single thing you think you want to do should be a goal. Some can just be placed on your to-do list for each day. Your to-do list may just be five items tailored to set you in motion daily towards bigger goals.
Personally, for her, I thought “working out” shouldn’t be a goal. It’s already something she’s doing. All she needs now is the discipline to make it a habit. For me, praying, studying my bible, stretching are no longer goals. They are now a major aspect of my life. They take the best part of my day. They are top of the top in the hierarchy of my daily things to do.
Now, I have recognised what habit is and so, I can channel more energy to what should be my actual goals. Things I haven’t done and might be totally new territory for me.
A person may just create a list with a plethora of all things they want to achieve. Upon closer inspection, you realise it’s nothing more than a wish list. Why? Their ‘goals’ are without legs and there are so many gaps filled with things they are already good at.
The first is to find out your priorities. To do this, you may need to pay attention to what you think about when you wake up at the break of dawn. This takes time. Setting goals can’t be done in a day. It takes attention and meticulousness. It is an outline for your life for that period of time. Once you can get it right, you have the first twenty-percent down and this is a booster of confidence. This is why it is advisable to begin goal-setting days before the month ends or months before the year ends.
The second is to separate your habits from your desires. Maybe you’re already working out twice a week but want to top that. So, working out is not the issue. You just need a daily list with a dose of discipline. That’s what you do. It becomes different if you have a target though. Say, maybe you’re looking to lose weight.
That’s a goal. Now, you give it branches. What does this mean? What would I have to do? Change my diet? What can and can’t I eat? What kind of body do I want after this duration is over? How much do I want to weigh? This is a goal. You now have to measure it by the SMART rule.
If you fill your habits development where your goals should be, you’d struggle a lot. Your days become significantly longer, you wrestle with productivity and finally, you crash. When you crash, you deal with guilt and frustration.
The third is rest. Listen, I don’t buy the ‘grind nonstop 24/7’ mentality they sell out there. Everyone is built different and grit is beautiful when it isn’t abused. You’re doing great and it’s perfectly okay to take a day off.
You hit that ball 5-8 hours a day for 6 days a week. That’s totally fine. The hours may increase as you grow accustomed to your learning curves. You build muscles as you take on more but before then, enjoy the process. Rest. It is needed.
Like I explained to my friend, I have a rest day when everything I want to do for that day is all about me. I gave her a run down of what my day of rest looks like.
While I wake up 5am every other day, I wake by 8 or 9 on my day of rest. I pray, study my Bible and just do a few cool down stretches – nothing hectic. I shower and then whatever I do from there is totally up to me. I can decide to read a book, watch anime, movies or even just sleep. It all depends on what I want. I can decide to go out and chill with friends or snuggle in the comfort of my bed. It is MY CHOICE.
Learning and implementing this in my life has been very helpful. Rest is very necessary for resetting. By the time you start setting goals for the next day as the dusk falls, your mind is sharp and well rested. You see what you need to do and you’d have the energy to do it.
Constant work without rest is setting up for a crash. That crash comes with repercussions. As they say, Prevention is better than cure. So, rest. Pick any day and rest. You need it.
In conclusion, habits and goals are not the same. Don’t fill your list with habits and don’t underestimate the power of rest.
All images are mine
