Nirvana.
You know, I see that word in places, in passing. I always thought the word sounded like “fire”. I did not know what it meant but for some reason when I heard or saw it, I thought of fire.
I don’t know if it is just me that judges a words based on how it sounds. For example, the word alacrity sounds like jumbled chaos, to refer to something stupid but it means the total opposite. Or the word infamous but I digress…
I always thought the word, nirvana, to mean fire so, imagine my surprise when I saw it meant happiness. To an extent, I still thought of it as fire because from what I read, this type of happiness seems to exist even when all seems to be gloomy. It is being able to live with a certain sense of awareness. Depending on what you believe - in my opinion.
So I was just thinking today, while I and my cousin walked to the market talking, if nirvana can be found or if it finds you. You see, in Buddhism, it is called Nirvana. I have read the exact same thing but anchored to a different faith - Christianity and it is called Joy.
I read a poem that went, “happiness is fleeting, sorrow lasts for a moment even if it is marked by the strokes of a lifetime”. But then, Joy (nirvana) is different.
So I was thinking, what exactly constitutes the word joy? What are my joys? What makes me feel? I got my answers almost immediately because as humans, the subconscious knows. Yet, we still need confirmation of some kind.
I believe that true joy (nirvana) comes from within. It comes from the belief in something, an existing consciousness. I also believe that it varies and every individual needs to find that which suits his/her person. What may be happiness for me might not be for you.
To me, happiness comes in stages and forms. I do not know if I am happy all the time but what I can tell you is I am “present” all the time. I am living a moment and taking it in full stride. Some moments come with laughter, some pain, some confusion and some sadness. It does not change what they are though. They are just moments but these moments have the power to change lives.
I am still growing and learning. I do not know what it is with me lately but I live every moment to the max, because each one is precious. To me, that is nirvana. The process. I am not saying I enjoy it all the time, but I live it.
I had a ridiculous thought I shared with my friend and she thought it was a wonderful idea. Next thing, she is joining me to plan towards something that has nothing to do with her except for the fact that it has to do with her friend (in this case, me), and that, I thought, could be her nirvana. It was HER moment even if it had nothing to do with her. Not all heroes wear capes…
I will close with this. I see this saying about life being short everywhere and I used to wonder why people thought so because I thought the opposite.
I got to understand why today as I walked beneath the azure sky with the humid breeze on my skin. Life in itself is not what is short. The moments are. And each moment you get may be the only one you have for an entire lifetime. So, why waste it?
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