Growing up with just my mom made me see things a little different than others do and this does not mean that I am better or smarter. It just means I have had my own fair share of experiences. As a little girl, I could not understand why my mother was always trying to ration everything. Although, because of that behavior, I understood that my mother and I were just below average according to society.
I had everything I needed to be a child and we had just enough to get by. However, that was it. We had just enough. Which means that just enough was so easy to dip and become not enough at all. With my eyes opening to how things worked, learning of my mother’s financial status, I unconsciously let her teach me things that I would either keep or let go of as I grow.
Thinking about it now, I can say for a fact that my habits as a child is what has become a lifestyle now, and this does not consist of the whole childish scenario of wake-up, eat, go to school, return, chores and sleep. However, it is not very far from it. As I increased in both age and knowledge, I have learned to alter my routine multiple times if need be.
Now, even I tend to be confused on what I really want. I am not very welcoming to change but I accept it anyway and try my possible best not to let this overwhelm me. It is very easy for me to be distracted especially when I hit an all-time low. This is also, why my room is never organized and why I have to make a list daily.
By meditation, I do not mean the silent ‘go-into-your-head’ unlock chakra kind of thing. My meditation is noisy, messy and even mentally stretching but when I am done, I have 80% focus 10/10 times. It is the best way to begin my day, month and year. I started this year and the month with meditation.
I start with a podcast every morning, then some visualizing exercise into the noon and end it with affirmations at night. So far, this has worked for me.
From what I learned, goals do not have to be big. They do not have to be massive. They can be small and insignificant. I overlooked this for a long time and would beat myself up when I would not ‘crush’ those goals I set for myself.
I started a 30 Days Discipline Challenge where I get up daily and do things even if I do not feel like it. It has only been 9 days and it feels like I have been on it for years. That is how tasking this thing is. This challenge does not consist of anything difficult either. Just things I do daily that I stopped doing. Many may see it as a to-do list because they consist of the smallest things like shower twice, clean, smile, do the dishes, write, etc.
Cooking is one other way I stay in touch with my finances. Sounds strange. It is very easy to eat take-out or just something the tongue craves. However, this also affects me financially. With the cost of living increasing daily, it is better to buy foodstuff in bulk and use them. This doesn’t mean I can’t spoil myself once in a while, it just means that I am fully aware of what my decisions may cost me and I am choosing to not be at the mercy of my pockets.
No matter how broke I am, there must be food at home, gas to make it happen and data for responsibilities. The biggest whale of my finances is shopping outside. Eating things like bread, hot coco, soda, eggs, etc., given what they cost now always bleeds me dry. Therefore, my mother and I have decided to cook our own meals and there has been an improvement in our living condition. We channel the money for that stuff to things such as Light bills, transportation and occasionally I have lapses and crave bread or flour in general. Happens more when I am ovulating. What do I do then? Well, I eat bread.
For almost a year, I have not paid for cable subscription. Look, my life is as minimal and boring as it gets. A very good example is how much I find the Word Puzzle Game exciting and a fun activity. My peers look at me and wonder if I fell from mars. I do not blame them. This is how I like to be.
It has become almost impossible to watch anything without cable TV. What changed? The cost of living did. We have to pay more to enjoy what we are watching. I do not know when, but I stopped watching TV altogether settling for watching downloaded Animes. Now, I do not watch TV at all. My mom does. However, we went for the once in a lifetime subscription box and she has access to all channels at so little cost for life! I hear people paying as low as $3.20 to $11.37 monthly for cable subscription presently. It may look small to Europeans but that is [with the current price of the dollar] N4, 500 and N16, 000 monthly. That N4,500 that was the most we had ever paid is channeled to something else. Data to make more money and download movies. Another one of my recreational activities.
The saying ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’ is very true. I think I forget and expect everything to happen in an instant. As optimistic as I am, I have learned to tamper my expectations because it leads to disruptive habits. I will be turning 23 soon and I have to be the only one that expects the world from me. This is not good.
When I expect too much and it does not go as planned, it hits home and then I make very bad decisions, which usually includes impulsive spending. That and the destructiveness of disappointment. Therefore, I try to expect less and to not take things personal. This is the hard part. Someone said over the phone to me not to be negative. I think I did a bad job of explaining that I am not pessimistic but prepared. I am well aware that the world does not revolve around me. While it is hard to accept that I must fight and struggle for almost everything, it has become easier to deal with because… I do not take things personal. It is just life even if it hurts like a mother trucker!
This is my response to the KISS Week 108 Blog Ideas. All Images are mine.
