So, I could have never imagined myself pregnant before marriage. But it doesn't mean Karma is a polite bish. I've had a pregnancy scare once and it was no game.
Let us just say I made some calls and and prepared to flee my area. It was all set in stone. During that time, it happened that there was a job opening to where I planned to flee to. My host also happened to be a very nice person and when I opened up about the scare, all they had to say was I had a place with them. Keeping them anonymous.
Funny enough, this happened when I'd just found Hive. I had a written plan on how I'd leverage this platform. My friend, a crypto enthusiast was ready to support me. However, I hadn't taken a test and was scared to because I was positive that I was pregnant. And I knew with 100% conviction that I was keeping the baby. At that moment though, I wished I had half the heart my mates had when they'd carry out an abortion.
Because the nights when I was alone was quite scary. The disgrace I'd become. I don't have a lot of people that like me and they'd get a kick out of hearing what happened to me. Most of all, my mother. I was so scared that I did contemplate getting rid of the child but then I'd chicken out because, I just couldn't.
I was quiet for days about it and was so scared to get a test. Don't get me started on the loneliness and all the isolation I felt. My plan was running and I knew I had a place out of Kaduna. I already told my mom I was leaving for a job opportunity and she was happy for me. Immensely happy. I had never felt so shitty in my life. That night, I went on my knees and asked God to let this be a false alarm. Not like it would do anything if the deed had already been done.
The other partner in crime was convinced that nothing would happen and that if anything did, he'd handle it. I knew exactly what he meant and told him, "I'm keeping it."
He looked at me like I was crazy and said he couldn't be a father just yet even though he was sure nothing had happened. He told me to be sensible and think things through. The thing was, I was thinking things through. I had escorted two of my friends to get an abortion and the feeling I got afterwards was nauseating. I even had a nightmare once. That was the conviction I needed. I thought to myself, I can't do it.
The guy wasn't in support. He told me that I'd be on my own and I was fine with that. I told him I was leaving the state to stay with a friend and he replied with, "You're batshit crazy. Are you really going through with this? Wetin dey work you?"
He was angry and I understood why but I wasn't getting rid of the child. Then my friends talked me into getting a test. They got word of it from him of course and it was a battle. They stayed with me in the bathroom when I used the stick and then followed me to the hospital for a confirmation. I wasn't pregnant. I nearly collapsed with relief.
Those were fourteen days of hell! And I guess that was where I became slightly averse to sex. I did not want to be within a mile radius of any man. My attitude towards them worsened to the point my friends would laugh when they'd notice a guy approaching me. They always had a good laugh because I was unbelievably rude.
Anyway. See. All I had gone through with those fourteen days of hell and I was certain that I would not get rid of the child. Something else I guess is, that was also my answer for the very first prompt. I will choose my child over my spouse. I'm not a mother yet, but I know that my child would be the love of my life.
