So, this morning I needed to schedule my annual physical health check with my Doctor. No big deal, right?
For my "Convenience," the healthcare network I am part of has an online portal where you can do things like look up medical test results, summaries of previous visits, send messages to your doctor, schedule appointments and so on.
Groovy!
So I got to my email folders and dig up the link to me last post-visit summary, so I can log into the provider web site, which has a bunch of abbreviations and numbers that make little sense. Hence the need for a link.
Get to the log-in page, put in my email and...
"We have updated our web site to serve you better! Please enter the access code we just sent to your email!"
Fine.
Refresh email. Enter code. Onwards...
"Please complete your new profile information"
Whut? I already have a profile with all that information. Whatever...
So, I enter all my contact info and data all over again.
"Thank you! Please set and confirm a new password!"
OK then... enter new password.
"Thank you! You can now log into the system. For your protection, please enter the 7-digit code we just sent to your email address on file"
Goddammit! I just did that! Whatever...
Refresh email. Enter code. Onwards...
"We need to verify your mobile phone information. Please enter the 7-digit code we texted to phone number 000.000.0000"
Oh please.
Retrieve and enter yet one more code.
Finally get to the medical information portal, which looks no different from the old one!
After poking around a bit, manage to find the scheduling page so I can make an appointment, as was my original intention.
Open the page, and...
"Please choose the type of appointment you would like from the list below!"
What list? There is no list, just the words asking me to choose from the list. Thinking that perhaps there was a glitch, I reload the page. No change. So I log out, and log back in again, thinking there might be a "cookie problem." No change.
Oh, fer feck's sake!
But I have encountered shyte like this before, and it turned out to be a Google Chrome problem and not something wrong with the web site.
So I go log in from the evil empire known as MS Edge. Alas, still can't make an appointment...
So I go to my online messages inbox to get the front desk phone number of the healthcare clinic from it. Simple enough... I'll just use our house phone (we are Luddites who still have a land line because we only get enough cell service here to send and receive texts) and call to make the appointment.
Dial the number and get some barely audible message that is clearly not the front desk, but the personal voicemail of one of the med-techs who now works at a different clinic. I think.
So I log out and go back to the health center's front page to get a number there, but that only has the main switchboard number for the entire medical center area, which includes our sizeable hospital. If I call that, I know I will be put in some form of "voice mail jail" because I don't know what extension I need.
But I'm not giving up yet!
Back to Google, and type in my doctor's name, which takes me to her hospital service provider profile page, where — pretty much in tiny invisible script — I find a link to "schedule an appointment," which includes the correct number to call.
::: Ring Ring :::
"Yes, I'd like to schedule my annual physical with Dr. B," I says.
One moment, please...
Two moments...
Three moments...
Four moments...
Five moments...
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting. We are scheduling non-critical visits 'out' a bit due to the ongoing healthcare crisis..."
Six moments...
Seven moments...
"The earliest appointment I have open with Dr. B for an annual physical exam is May 17th and 10:40am. Will that work for you?"
Well... I'll take it. I'm a patient sort of patient, so it's all good. I'd like to think that if I were bleeding out on the floor, they'd fit me in sooner.
REMINDER: No, this is not a description of the dreaded "socialized medicine" so many people in the USA are terrified of... this was "good ole' for-profit healthcare" in the US of A!
And now, I'm going to head off and get started on my day!
Thanks for reading, and I hope YOU have an awesome day!
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Created at 20220223 14:01 PST
0507/1753