For a long time i held onto things. Specific people. Specific moments. Words said to me that i replayed more than i want to admit. And i told myself i was justified because i was. What happened was wrong. Full stop.
But here is the thing nobody told me. Holding onto it was not hurting them. They had moved on completely. Living their life, sleeping fine, completely unbothered. The only person waking up every day carrying the weight of what they did was me.
That is the part about unforgiveness that is almost never said plainly enough. You are not protecting yourself by holding on. You are just keeping yourself locked in a moment that the other person has already walked away from.
Forgiveness is the most misunderstood thing. People hear it and think it means saying what happened was acceptable. Or letting someone back into your life. Or minimising what you went through. It means none of those things.
It just means you stop allowing that moment, that person, that version of your pain to have so much authority over your present life. You take back the energy you have been spending on something that is already over. You do it quietly, completely and entirely for yourself.
It is honestly one of the most selfish acts you can perform in the best possible way.
The day it actually happens, the day you feel it genuinely release in your body and not just say the words, you will wish you had gotten there sooner. Not for them. For yourself. For all the time and peace you would have reclaimed.
Some people do not deserve your anger but they especially do not deserve your peace.
Let it go. Not for them. Never for them.
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