Over the past whole year, I technically haven't been doing much. The goals that I've set in 2019 year end, part of them achieved in the first two months in 2020. The rest of the resolution, basically burnt due to lockdown.
I didn't make much wishes in 2020 year end, because 2021 were still much uncertainty, and I'm living each day with the blessing from both #steem and #hive. There's no need to dodge the snow ball, it hit me right in my face, proven double edged sword can cut my hands too. Once again, despite the ambitious goal setting, doesn't mean I have the ability to achieve them.
I've totally given up 2022. I remember I put up a post saying I want to reduce my game time since I've been #drugwars a lot. I wished I haven't spent that much of time fiddling with that game, so I can concentrate in making good blogs, sleep early, be more productive at work rather than checking back see if anyone attack me. Those are not goal settings, merely setting a direction for myself in a vague manner so I can TRY to achieve something.
Lo and behold, I did cut down my #drugwars time, but did I write better blog and am I doing it consistently? No I didn't. Instead of playing #drugwars, I ended up playing with mobile phone games 🤣 I think I spent even more time in fiddling the phone, considering now I need to use the phone for work, and also need to use the phone to play. That easily tripled my screen time, and I sleep even lesser and making even lesser blog than the year before.
I guess the only biggest achievement I had in both 2021 and 2022, is my delegation to ASEAN Hive community. For a short period of time, I felt like the achievement can satisfy my ego for a very long time, but I was wrong. The feeling of finally be the biggest delegator become void, I literally sitting on the toilet bowl, holding my phone upside down and can't think of a topic to write a blog post.
Ok enough of the super long metaphors. I'm just saying, before the pandemic I've set unrealistic goal that almost makes me feel like I'm useless when I can't achieve them. And the following year, I set goals that is so easy to achieve, as a matter of fact, I already has the ability to achieve it even before new year, and I choose to set it a time line for execution, proven to be useless and delayed feel good activity. More like, if I know I can have sex now, why wait next year? And, when I don't even set a proper goal, it gets worse, as I don't even know what am I trying to achieve.
So, let's make it simple.
I'm now 76kg, and my ideal weight is supposed to be 62. I know I can lose 14kg in a very short time if I skip meals and go keto diet. But that's unsustainable and chances are after losing that weight, I go binge eating again and gaining all that weight back and probably more. So, realistically let's make it half way there. Let's change my lifestyle a little, gradually reduce KFC and replace with more Subway sandwiches. 7kg a year divide by 12 months, I only need to lose about 600gm a month. That's like I take a crap and 600gm 2ill be gone! If I can't consistently maintain taking crap every month, I need to see a doctor.
I've been shouting wanted to change job due to the hostile working environment. Now, nobody is stopping me to change it, but I find myself not quite ready to quit. Instead of quitting, let's hang on to the current job, studying up on computer technologies, who knows if the company decided to "let me go", I can still try to land a deal with computer firm? I don't necessarily need to change job now, but I really need to start something to prepare for the next job instead.
Having said that #drugwars technically pay nothing nowadays, considering steem-engine is busted and god knows how long they take to restore transaction. The mobile game that I've been hogging on, worth absolutely nothing. There's only one time someone offer to buy my account for 200 bucks, but then deal turned out sounded like a scam, I've reported it and nobody offer me anymore. I'm basically surviving the game solely due to my pride of having such powerful characters. Playing these games, are not much different than my cigarettes addiction for almost 3 decades.
Basically, it's just a 3 simple direction I need to work with this year. To consistently lose 600gm a month, sign-up a part time course to prepare for my future career, and to NOT play anymore useless game if I'm not genuinely enjoying them, since they don't pay me enough to sacrifice my time.
I should reblog this post so I can visit back later date.
