I want to use this post to talk about the value of letting go. By this I mean the act of releasing our ego's grip on constantly monitoring how others are receiving us and acting according to this feedback.
As a deeply anxious person, letting go has never come easily to me. My baseline state is GRIPPED on high alert. I observe others with the intensity of a mad scientist and try to intuit how they are feeling about me; I adjust my behavior according to these perceptions. It's exhausting. It's also built upon the allusion that I am privy to the unspoken opinions of others, which is an inherently arrogant notion.
Because I am, and we are, human- all we can truly know without transparent dialogue is the contents of our own minds. These are difficult to recon with in and of themselves, so why take on more? Why not verbalize our own truths, and wait and see how others respond? Let's give the people in our lives a chance to laugh with us, forgive us, and love us more because of our idiosyncrasies.
There is so much less to be afraid of than we think. While we're imagining monsters in closets and the possibility of "wait, what if I'm actually an intolerable human?"... others are basking in the joy of our presence. An example. I am excitable, with a mind that bounces between a zillion unrelated stories. I have a tendency to burst out, "guys, guys!" in the middle of conversation, because of my failure to suppress some factoid or question. I used to be embarrassed by this, and even felt shame at my word- vomit. One day, a friend told me that a conversation with me meant being uplifted by my buzzing spirit. I started to notice the smiles and laughter that ensued following my outbursts. I no longer restrain myself.
The thing is this: I'm sure that my lack of vocal restraint irritates some people. However, I have no control over their reactions and choose not to engage them. I do not let the fear of judgement dim my exuberance. Freedom, easy breathing, a stillness of mind... These are the things to be gained as we let go. It is amazing how responsive people are to unguarded individuals. To those who can be present in any given moment without meta- monitoring. These individuals have more to give and a higher capacity for receiving. Abundant exchanges are made as a result.
I invite you to release your grip and watch the blood return to your hands. Feel the fatigue associated with this, then allow it to drift away. Turn your palms outward to the unexpected gifts of this life.
Let it Go | Ecency
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