Is hypergamy ethical? Equity in relationships

Hypergamy defined

Hypergamy is commonly referred to as marrying up. That is when an individual marries someone of a higher social status and or caste.

From Wikipedia:

Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying another of higher caste or social status than themselves

What are some of the potential problems with hypergamy?

• If Alice marries Bob, and Bob is significantly more powerful (on multiple levels) than Alice, then this imbalance can in theory facilitate coercion and or abuse. If Bob thinks Alice can never do better than him, can never say no to him, and if Bob thinks he's giving far more to the relationship, then he might become resentful (in theory). If Bob feels resentful and feels he can do better, then it is possible at any time he simply can replace Alice with someone just like her or have Alice, Susan, Mary at the same time.
• The power imbalance is the main issue with hypergamy. This power imbalance can lead to the person with more power being viewed as exploiting the person who has less power in the relationship.
• The power imbalance can also allow the person with more power to apply coercion. For example a person who has 100 million dollars has a housewife who if she divorces will have no means of survival so they cannot leave.-

Social exchange theory and equity theory

An ethical argument can be made that romantic relationships should strive toward power balances. That is Alice and Bob should have a similar amount of something they bring to the table to make it a balanced relationship. If one side has every advantage over the other side then the negotiation could even include coercion. By this I mean if Alice is significantly of a higher status than Bob, where she for example is significantly more physically attractive, has significantly higher net worth, has significantly more formal education, has significantly more connections/friends, then is it really ethical for her to marry Bob?

It would certainly be legal, but the question of would it be ethical is a bit different. If the goal of the relationship is for both Alice and Bob to be happy, and for the relationship to work out well for both sides, could this massively imbalanced relationship work?

References

Laina Y. Bay-Cheng, Eugene Maguin, Anne E. Bruns. Who Wears the Pants: The Implications of Gender and Power for Youth Heterosexual Relationships. The Journal of Sex Research, 2017; 1 DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2016.1276881

Northwestern University. (2015, July 13). When attractive people do or don't choose equally good-looking mates. ScienceDaily. Retrieved March 25, 2018 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/07/150713205148.htm

Iowa State University. (2007, July 9). Wives Have Greater Power In Marriage Problem-solving Behavior, According To Study. ScienceDaily. Retrieved March 25, 2018 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/07/070705120756.htm

1. https://www.eharmony.com/blog/power-imbalances-in-relationships-two-factors-that-cause-the-most-tension/
2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-winner-effect/201211/the-power-struggle-relationships
3. https://psychcentral.com/lib/power-control-codependency/