I'm not sure if people in all English-speaking countries use this saying or not, but in case you've never heard this before and you don't know what I'm on about, when someone says,
"Don't make a mountain out of a molehill!"
what they mean is:
Don't make such a big fuss about such a small thing!
I had a quick look online and can see that this saying is, in fact, many centuries old and seems to have originated in the UK which makes total sense since they actually have moles there (unlike here in Australia).
So, now you know what the saying means, let's answer the question in this post title:
Why does a person make a mountain out of molehill?
This is simple. It's not to deliberately be a pain in the neck. It's not (usually) just to get attention.
It's most often because whatever the small issue is it reminded them, subconsciously and automatically, of a really big issue that has a strong emotional charge for them.
I'll give you an example:
A few months ago I had just finished painting my fingernails and as I walked back into the house with my hands full I accidentally dropped the tiny nail polish bottle.
The bottle was glass and as it hit the tile floor it smashed everywhere.
I suddenly froze and was almost shaking as I bent down to start cleaning it up.
Meanwhile, my partner, calm as cucumber, strolled over to help me without saying a word.
I quickly realised that I was automatically "making a mountain out of a molehill"; I was soooo very stressed out about a spill that could be easily cleaned and a bottle of liquid that would cost, literally $3 to replace.
Why? Why was I so stressed out, semi-frozen and kind of shaking?
The child in me was waiting for my Dad to yell at me. And I only realised this when I noticed that I kept looking at Brad waiting for him to lose it at me. And he wasn't.
I was waiting for something that my body expected to happen. I was guarding myself against the verbal abuse that some old (or rather, much younger part of me) was expecting to receive.
While I have no specific memory of what I must have accidentally smashed as a child, I do know that my Dad (who was trying the best he knew how to deal with us kids, and)--who would have been much bigger than me at the time--must have yelled at me in a way that was really, really scary for that little person that was me.
And all these years later my body still remembered even though my mind had forgotten.
So, we make a mountain out of a molehill (a big deal out of a small thing) when our body is still holding onto something scary or painful from the past.
We all do it, whether we realise it or not.
So, what's the solution?
Reconnecting with our present situation and helping ourselves to find a sense of safety again, as we realise that this isn't the past and we can re-negotiate this (body) memory by having a different experience with a safer person, right here, right now.
This isn't a molehill (it was taken in the bush near my house, so definitely not!) rather it is an anthill. But when I saw it this morning it gave me the idea for this post. So, now you know where the original spark came from. 馃槂
