I was munching on a piece of something covered in dark chocolate. I had been alternating between ginger treats and dates. They were all smothered in dark chocolate and were a Christmas present from my sister in law.
They were sweeter than almost anything else we have in the house, and thus, moreish.
moreish
adjective
"so pleasant to eat that one wants more".
(Oxford Languages)
As I gleefully chewed on this rich goodness I realised a small amount of chocolate-coloured saliva had dripped out of my mouth and fallen onto the front of my lovely, light pink top.
The voice was so quick it actually shocked me:
"You deserve that," it said.
And when I asked, "Why?"
It replied, "Because you're being a pig."
After practising some form of mindfulness for the best part of the last decade it only took me a mere moment to realise what had happened. I took a deep breath and became fully present again. I became the witness to my thoughts again and I pondered what had happened.
These days it's pretty rare that I trigger any kind of critical part of me that would tell me such unkind things. But, apparently, it still happens from time to time.
As children we internalise the voices we hear most often. Whatever is said (and however it is said) by our caregivers (parents or guardians) about how to survive in the world that is what our brain prioritises remembering. From birth to age seven (ish) we are designed, as humans, to literally record everything around us without censorship.
This is amazing (because without it we wouldn't survive very long at all) but it's also challenging. Here's why:
If a parent is critical and calls you names, that's what you think is normal and necessary to survive in the world. As you get older, those same voices no longer need reinforcement from a big human; you now know how to do it yourself as you play from the recording inside your own mind.
We will continue to say unkind things to ourselves and call ourselves names until we:
There are many ways we can re-record these automatic voices in our heads. Hypnosis is a fairly well known way these days because it's been around for many decades. But my favourite is a tool that works with the mind and the body at the same time. Thus, I like and practice EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) also known as "tapping" and will use this process to "tap on" how I feel when I hear such critical voices in my head.
I can do a lot of tapping in one go and make a big shift, or I can do a little bit each time I think of it, and shift the whole pattern over time. Depending on what I'm working on changing or addressing dictates the way I use the tool.
Have you heard about or used EFT or hypnosis or any other tool to re-record unkind voices in your own mind? I'd love to hear about it in the comments if you want to share!
