Issue 20- Wait, What? U.S. 1 #1!

So what do you think of when you think of Marvel Comics. Action! Adventure! Superheroes! TRUCK DRIVING! Wait, what? Ha, see what I did there? But no, seriously. There was a Marvel Comic featuring and starring super powered truck drivers and it got just as weird as you can think it would.

Demons, aliens, blimps, James Bond-esque tricked out trucks, you name it, the creators of U.S.1 took an already dumb premise and drove with it. So let’s look at the surprisingly entertaining, in the dumbest way imaginable, first issue of U.S. 1!

(Oh my god, look at that glorious hunk of 80’s cheese!)

Wait...Why…

Well, I’m going to put this in the plainest, most sensitive way I can think of. In the 80’s, Marvel Comics was a whore. They licensed anything that wasn’t nailed down from pulp books such as Conan to sci-fi hit Star Wars. But their biggest cash grabs came from the toy market with comic adaptations of the Transformers and G.I. Joe. Sort of like what IDW does today. Except, you know, with less Social Just Megatron.

So what was U.S. 1 before it was a comic? A super exciting...electric trucking play-set. From what I can gleam, the only inspiration that the writer Al Milgrom had to go off of was the logo because everything else added in the comics had nothing to do with the plot.

(This sure does scream superheros and aliens doesn’t it kids!)

U.S. 1 lasted for only 12 insane issues and I do mean insane. The characters have since become a joke in the Marvel universe, pretty much only appearing when there needed to be some humor inserted or when they’d cross over with character such as Deadpool or She-Hulk.

Rules of the Road

How does one turn an idea of a toy into a comic? With insanity.

U.S. 1 #1 shows us the origin of Ulysses Archer. This blonde, All-American football star came from a family of truckers. Going to college and playing football, BECAUSE AMURICA, Ulysses studied computer programing, engineer, and electronics because of course he did. Unfortunately, while driving with brother, Jeff, who followed in the family’s footsteps and became a truck driver himself, tragedy occurred. Because apparently he wasn’t smart, specifically the comic mentions that he “didn’t have the head for book learning”. Riight…

So while driving they get attacked by an evil Truck Driver supervillain...because that’s a thing, and their cab is shoved off the road. Ulysses ends up with a crushed skull and Jeff apparently died in the crash. Of course our hero can’t die and thanks to an experimental surgery, they replace his cranium with a metallic alloy which gifts him with the amazing power of...receiving cb transmissions.

(Hair growth is unimpeded because we can’t have a BALD hero! EH XAVIER!?)

Swearing vengeance on the Highwayman, seriously that's the evil driver’s name, our hero vows to use his newly steely cranium and… gifts to stop that fiendish villain!

Silver Dollar Power

So, working with the local owners of a truck stop… Ok, I’m going to try to write these names without laughing… Poppa Wheelie and Wide Load Anne… ok I failed. Ok, working with those two lugnuts, our hero builds a truck full of missiles, weaponry, insane computer tech, and other James Bondish tricks, he goes one step further. The whole rig is controlled, by a micro-controller hidden in a US silver dollar. I am not joking.

(Tony Stark has nothing on Truck Drivers!)

So what’s he do with all of this new tech? Nothing this issue. The Highwayman confronts him in his, get this, Blackrig and Archer is able to slam him off the road without using any of his special weapons except for some nitro. Of course they don’t see the villain die so they figure they’ll be seeing him again.

But that’s about it for this issue. Still, don’t worry, there’s many more Wait, What's to be had and U.S. might actually make a return if I’m bored or you request it! Come back next time for a fun look at my childhood, and adulthood, with a list of my favorite Superhero cartoons! Excelsior!