Been thinking a lot about what happened at Club Q in Colorado Springs this past weekend. It hits close to home, my partner is bisexual and my brother is gay, many of the folks I hold dear are queer.
If what happened at Club Q were an isolated incident it would be a tragedy. The thing is it's not, and it's so much worse than that. This sort of violence happens everyday, just without the number of casualties it takes to attract media attention. My brother has been attacked on multiple occasions simply for being gay. A friend of mine was murdered because of it, lured into a setup using Grindr and beaten to death.
Growing up I was the smallest and smartest kid in my class, which gave me a taste of some of the violence and misery people will inflict for things beyond your control. Left me with a distinct distaste for bullies.
My father told me "people are going to mess with you, you have to figure out what you have to do to make them stop and do it." While this advice has always stood me in good stead, as I've gotten older I've come to realize that it's not enough. If I stand idly by as people mess with others, I am complicit.
Hate crime laws have yet to stop hate crime, nor will this violence be ended by a top-down, imposed 'solution'. If we are to see an end of this it will require each of us as individuals to take action, to ask ourselves "what can I personally do to help?" and then do it.
I'm not saying everyone should be ready to charge an active shooter, although in this country there's always a possibility that might be needed. Bullies don't like it when you challenge them, when you give them a taste of their own medicine. So give the assholes hell.
My attempts to do so over the years have led me to some lively situations. These photos are from the last two Pride festivals here in Louisville.
On both occasions some assholes showed up to bully and harass attendees. On both occasions my friends and I showed up as well, to distract and deescalate, to be a buffer, and to just plain old give'em hell.
If we don't take care of each other, then who the hell will?