January 9, 2020
Dear Diary,
I am Mr. Black. I don’t like introducing myself. I don’t like meeting new people. As much as you would like to pet my silky black fur, I’d rather get to know you by watching you from underneath the sofa. You can call my name. I will ignore you.
I do my best to defend the home from feathers and strings. My human considers this training for assassinating spiders and flies. The truth is spiders and flies are interesting to watch but too much effort to catch. I would much rather watch my human defend itself with a newspaper and a mouth full of profanity.
I do enjoy watching squirrels from the window. I mean, I could catch one but it would be too much work. Why would I even put out the effort when I know I have a bowl full of brown of crunchy pieces? These crunchy pieces will never run away, bite back, or give me rabies and worms.
