It's early morning January 3 and already I'm feeling the enthusiasm for the new year/new beginning start to wane.
I've been up long enough to make the coffee and feed the animals, and to argue with the one cat that insists on yowling at all hours of the day and night for no reason other than to be heard. Everyone else is still in bed. It's dark and cold out and despite plans to go enjoy the afternoon I'm not feeling it right now.
I have to keep reminding myself to be positive (and not in the "I'm positive I'm not feeling this" kind of way). I am trying to hold out hope against the looming darkness, to feel the Force, etc. It ain't easy, but I still try. I don't want 2018 to continue on the path 2017 started. I know there is brightness in the world. There is love, there is hope, there is acceptance.
Something that kept me going for years was my boys. I raised them more or less on my own, especially as they got older. Every time I felt like giving up and cashing in, I thought of them. Even with the fighting and rebellion (hey, they were teen boys!) they still kept me going. I knew if I disappeared they would have to be in the care of their mother, a woman who did little to nothing in caring for them. If nothing else, I couldn't bring myself to do that to them. They deserved better, so I kept trying. Now that they're older and on their own (and have almost no contact with their mother by their own choosing) I rarely hear from them except on Facebook. I do know, however, they're out there living their lives and now the thought that I helped them become the men they are comforts me.
Tell me, please, if you would: What are your positive thoughts? What helps you continue? What makes your day a little easier? Share your happy thoughts.
To quote a famous television psychiatrist, "I'm listening."
