You may have met me before when I wrote about my life as an actress and then I disappeared! That was a long time ago. But I am back! Why am I back? Well, I got cancer. The nasty kind. Initially, my surgeons were high fiving themselves, and me, as we had caught it so early. "Thank your lucky stars!" they said. "Thank your appendix for rupturing and bringing you to the emergency department!" they said. I felt truly blessed. All I needed was right hand hemicolectomy and I was good to go.
Sadly, cancer can be tricky, and that's how mine went. It jumped to my liver, peritoneum, and my ovary. But I sucked it up and told myself I would make a full and complete recovery. All day every day, I told myself I was getting better. I spent over four months in hospital vomiting until we changed to a lighter chemotherapy. Once that settled my ovary grew to the size and weight of a baby. I had surgery. I remember waking up feeling like a million dollars and the surgeon declared "Clodagh, No stoma!". So how lucky was I? A stoma is a bag that collects your poo and I was told that I would most likely need one. To Hell with that, I was again so lucky to meet a group of stage 4 Colorectal cancer friends and together we established Bowel Cancer Ireland and co-hosted the first Colorectal Cancer Seminar in Ireland in 2023 and again in 2024.
(Speaking at the 1st Colorectal Seminar 2023, Prof Grainne O Kane, Brendan Donlon and myself)
Since then it has been a rollercoaster chess game, living from CT scan to CT scan (tests to see where your cancer is at). I have had miraculous scans and devastating ones but man have I learnt a lot about life. I have seen the best and worst of people. I have been loved by strangers and betrayed by close friends. I have walked slowly through Hell mentally and physically but I have also been privy to remarkable beauty and astounding kindness.
Do I have faith? Yes, and I believe in some kind of God - because I found myself on floor praying to him/her but gosh there is no one in the world that wants to live more than I. For my son (9 years) and my husband (
If you are like me or close to someone like me, I wish to lighten your load with this blog and maybe give you a laugh every now and then.
