Someone hurts you, probably someone you least expected to. You feel the pain and decide to move on, yet not forgetting all that happened. You're heavy and this has taught you not to give your all to anybody. This new coat you've chosen to wear is heavy, it does not suit the way you move. It makes you want to give the hard attitude of not being your true self. Indeed, life has taught you one, two or more times and it seems like you have had enough of lessons. You now see everyone as the same. Citing few examples, you must have had business deals that didn't work out because of mistrust, indulged in relationships that left you heartbroken, helped people who took your help for granted, blackmailed, sidelined, abused and all those things that hurt. This is all distressing, so very. The mind is made up, you'll be all by your principles. You won't be letting people tread on your life and act like they don't care.
These things happen to me. I then ask myself: "can I forgive?"
Well, I won't.
But then, I think twice about it. "What happens if I don't have to forgive?"
First of all, I won't have to forget the pains, because forgiving has more to do with forgetting. I'd have my mind burdened with the ugly past, and having a mind that harbours hurtful past is like walking through life with a shadow following closely behind, making it difficult to fully embrace the present moment. I'd not want anything to make the present bad, because life is too short for that. I want to have memories, good memories. I want to live a fun-filled life, a life of inner peace, a life worth the end. I don't want to recall hurts as time fleets away. I don't want to live a revengeful life, because the more I think about the hurts, the more prompt I become. Certain persons who hurt us might never have to change, so we have to let go. We have to go find a better thing for ourselves and the time is now.
Secondly, if I don't forgive I'll be making more enemies. The one who asks for my forgiveness sees me as an enemy, the one who doesn't may think I'll hurt them one day. I won't be a freeman if I don't get to forgive. Consequently, I may not get the resource these people have to offer. Leaves me stranded, spending time rattling over another option. I have to get to start meeting new people, spend time establishing the bond(however big or small) and trying them out. I carefully do this, judging from my previous experience. If the connection flops, I spend time over it till I give it some space. And you know one thing? it doesn't just end between us, the talk has to go further where it's either I'm tagged wrong or I spend time doing the same for people that hurt me. At the end of the day we have a society of people who blame and blemish the name of each other. The more we do this, the more we hear stories that touches the heart. Revenge that goes above the law begins to take place, people are abused, killed, some jailed, others who can't use the physical go spiritual, we hear people die for no reasons, friend poisons a friend. The lethality in our minds grow and we don't seem to stop till we're satisfied. We make the beast out of ourselves whenever we think of these people who hurt us. We say:, "no they can't get away with it; it's too hard". We always want to have our own pound of flesh. Not our fault, it's hard to forgive, most especially when it pains the most. We're humans with feelings and I don't just expect us to get over the hurts in a haste. We're bound to go by the law anytime anyone infringes on our rights. This is a right approach. But thereafter must try to forgive. It doesn't mean you're willing to accept them back into your life. Tell the people who hurt you that you've forgiven them. It gives them a different picture of who you are. They come to respect your personality, your maturity, your presence. They become truly sorry for what they've did and chances are high that they'll ever do it again.
Let's help make the world a better place to stay in. It's no peace having to have many enemies. You watch your back everytime, you can't explore the resources they have to offer, you seldom become stranded when these people are the only ones you have around. Trust is lost, bond is broken, contentions rise, love is off sight.
Truly, if someone hurts you it's either you take satisfaction through the law or you settle it amicably. You don't have to be enemies.
This is what I suggest.
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