I thought he won't accept this invite, but when I casually asked him if he could do this Q&A with me, he gladly and immediately said yes! I realized that he has always been saying yes to whatever I ask him to do.
I am blessed to have a supportive father like him. 😊
It was a great opportunity for me to get his insight and document his responses. Making this was kind of an excuse for me too so that he will answer and take my questions seriously.🤣 I was so happy that he was game for it and it was his first time! I also got his consent to share this with you. Woot!
What was your favorite childhood memory?
"My favorite childhood memory was going to the bukid (farm/field/mountain) with my godfather and godmother. They have a big land there and I really wanted to ride the carabao (water buffalo). They also have many fruits around their bahay kubo (Nipa hut).
When you were a teenager who do you go to for advice?
I don’t really go to anyone. My grandmother taught me how to pray and use the rosary. I was raised far from my parents so every time I had problems I just go to my room and talk to God. Ever since I have to solve everything on my own. When I was a market boy (vendor), I was pushing a cart delivering some broomstick to the market. Every time I saw a car especially if driven by a teenager or good looking guy, I said someday I will have my own car, I will wear that suit. That pushed me to finish studies and pursue my dreams. I always tell God to help me get what I want.
What was your first job and how did it go?
I worked in a burger stand as a food handler in Paranaque Manila (Philippines). While doing that I was a student. I started that during 4th year highschool. When I got to college, I started selling stuff and do whatever comes to my mind to support myself.
Can you share an event in your life that changed you?
When I finished college, I told my relatives and family I will raise them and help them. When I receive my paycheck 75% of it I share it to them and just a quarter for me. That's when our life started to change. It wasn’t hard for me to look for a job. Maybe it was God’s blessing. Everytime I go to a company to apply, somebody would recognize me. He said “You’re Romeo right? I remember you. Go home.” I said “Why? I’m here to apply for a job.” He’d say “You’re hired. Come back tomorrow I will give you your schedule and your uniform.” It’s God’s blessing.
How did you meet mommy?
She was introduced by a friend. They invited me to go to the city and introduced me your mom. Then we kept talking, communicating.
,Do you remember the day you met me?
I do remember. You were playing with your cousins, you have a small plastic car and I thought you were cute.
When mommy told you that she has a child already, how did you feel?
It didn't bother me but sometimes I get jealous when you meet your father. I thought “Oh, this is my position.” I accepted the situation and after that it didn’t bother me anymore. It was hard to adjust at first. When I met your mom, even if I had girlfriends before who were single, I really fell inlove with your mom and stick with her because I wanted a relationship that will last long. I told her I want to help you raise your child, let’s arrange it and she agreed with it.
What was the moment you realized you want to be with me and mommy?
After we talked about raising you, I said I want this child to love me as her real father. When you love somebody, you should prepare yourself to accept whatever they have, whoever they are. I told your mom, if you have a problem I will help you. Let’s do this.
What are the challenges of being a stepfather?
Sometimes it hurts, when you’re raising a daughter but she’s really not yours. (I told my stepdad that I remember I kept fighting and bullying him because he keeps going to the house and I was confused because I said I already have a father. LOL.That was one of his challenges too. Dealing with the grouchy mean Shanna 🤣)
What do you enjoy the most about being a stepfather?
Raising you. Seeing how you fulfill everything. Maybe for yourself you’re not there yet, but eventually you will get it [goals] soon. I can see the way you do it.
What’s one important lesson do you want to teach me?
Humility. Always find something that you can do or help for someone in need. Don’t think you’re already on top. Always look behind because we came from there.
When do you feel happiest?
I feel happiest when I see my family, my brother, my sister smiling. Even if we have financial problems, when they smile it makes me smile too. I’m a very simple guy. If I see someone laugh because of me, because of what I did to them then I feel happy.
How do you want to be remembered?
In this subdivision where we live, our neighbors call me uncle or “Boss” even if I'm not a boss. They respect me the way I respect them. I help those in need without asking in return. So even if I’m not here anymore, they can still remember me. Because that’s one thing you have to earn, the respect of people in the community.
What advice do you have for stepfathers out there or about to take that role?
At first it hurts because you are just the second father. But in the end [it's worth it], you will see from when you raised the child until you see her reach her dreams and you were there. It also hurts when people would ask why you are marrying someone who already has a child. But it’s love. When you love somebody you really have to accept everything, forget what they say, this is what makes me happy, this is what I feel.
There is a research that says, “knowledge of family history is significantly correlated with internal locus of control, higher self-esteem, better family functioning, greater family cohesiveness, lower levels of anxiety, and lower incidence of behavior problems.” (Duke, et al. 2008).
Conversations like these create a bond that will also strengthen the family’s relationship as each member gets to know each other on a deeper level. We get to see their perspective and hear stories from their past, learning about what they went through and how they overcame their problems.
I hope you enjoyed reading this. Go and try it out with your parents, guardian, siblings if you can, to get to know them and understand them better.
Thanks for chilling with me and my stepdad, I’ll catch you in the next post!
