This is the first time I will rant with the audience usually I prefer to rant on my mind, cursing all the problems I was facing, and I start to question why I lived to face all those troubles. Before I am living on life in which I get anything I want with my own money I earned however things are different right now.
It's my own mistake that I am in this situation right now, I know I've done mistakes in the past that leads me to this difficult situation. I was blinded by the amount of money I earned and didn't think about saving up or investing my money to grow it.
I treat my friends before to the point that I don't save money for myself, I bought unnecessary things thinking that I have an infinite source of income but things turn around when all those sources of income fall that left me penniless and nothing to spend.
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It's my own mistake that I spend a lot in the past, I have a philosophy before that it's better to give than to receive and hoping that someday I will reap all the help I gave but seems like it's different. Now I am in a difficult situation, I asked for help but no one responds, and no one gave me help which made me realize how foolish I am in the past.
Another thing is, I have a huge problem with our thesis currently we have progressed but still I am so worried about where to get money as a contribution to our project. If only I saved in past maybe I have had money to contribute, but the problems don't end there, our other members don't help to build our thesis. While we are working under the sun's scorching heat, they are staying under the mango tree and having chitchats. We can't do anything about it, I still didn't complete my contribution that's why I am hesitant to confront them.
If they gonna help us then we are happy about it but if they don't we can't do anything about it, once we failed to finish our thesis then it's not our mistake since we've done everything and done our best to finish it.
I know that we will feel repentance once we experience and failed but it also made me realize how important to focus on myself first, I realize that in the end, my only self is who can help me. That's why I decided to focus on myself and do everything to achieve my goals, whoever will ask for help shall shed tears, and give valid reasons before they can get help cause it marked me the idea that there are people who take advantage of one person. Source
