Simply, I am exhausted

Humans are known as the best creatures on this earth; our intelligence and humanity make us different from other creatures. Humanity represents kindness, and helping others is also a form of kindness. It's an ethical responsibility of a person to help others whenever they need help. I also think so, and I think it should be ideal but with time, many things have changed. For several reason people stop helping others. Depending on person, the reasons can vary.

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I'm not going to say that I'm a very helpful person from the beginning but at least I think that my earlier version was more helpful compared to my current version. What kind of incident changed my mindset, and what actually forced me to look away when others ask for help? Let me share my thoughts about it.

My reason is very simple to understand and that reason is I'm quite exhausted. According to my capability, I know that I can help many people. And in the past, at least I tried to help all of those people who asked for it. In that time, I rarely refused anyone when they asked for help. I don't know if I was generous or it was difficult to refuse, but it was the situation of the past. It was unfortunate that most of the people took my help as well as my time for granted and they thought that I would be ready to help them any time or all the time. There was a time when I was busy and could not help them or delayed. And later it just backfired on me. Many of them said I delayed it intentionally; I refused because I was trying to show superiority.

I didn't mind when they didn't appreciate me for the help they received in the past, but when they accused me of something that was unreasonable. To be honest, helping those people took a good amount of time, and I was quite exhausted using my time and effort, and at the end, they just accused me of delaying or refusing one time. It was kind of heartbreaking, even if I didn’t care too much about it. I just feel that they don't deserve my time and my effort and I should not waste my energy for something like that. Besides I don't have unlimited energy and time for the people who are not important for this one.

I think now I understand human psychology quite well and I don't expect anything from them and I'm ready to accept hearing something awful if I help someone. But the current version doesn’t allow me to exhaust myself just for the sake of helping others and it's a good thing for me, and I think I should not care too much about others.