What Now?

Words
259
Reading
2 min
Listen
Play
8y

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It's late.
And I am sad.
The cursor blinks, mocking me.
In a way it urges me.
Type away, it drives me to.

I am in love, once again.
But I don't know if he loves me back.
It is sad. 馃様

It so bad that I light up with hope
Every time a message comes
Hopes that he has replied.
I text first in the morning,
Late at night.

Oh, how did I lose control,
How did I give this much power away?
Oh love.
You are supposed to be a wonderful feeling.
Why cause me this much pain?

I do not want this again,
A trend is forming.
I lose myself in them,
All those I have ever loved.

Around them like a noose
Do I build my life.
And I am left all alone,
Broken and weak when they leave.

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Left alone to piece together the life I once had,
Built around them,
The one I have no more.

I would have to start again.
To build again.

It's draining me,
I don't want this circle anymore.
I want to be enough for me,
I want to be able to hold my own.

I don't want to leech on people to be happy.
I want to love, yes
But I want to love when I love me enough.

You can't give what you don't have they say,
And you can't keep taking from those who have,
They would get tired of giving.

I love Love
But I don't want it like this.

Thank you for reading.