Have you ever gotten the call? I'm an IT Recruiter in Dallas, and it's a typical Monday at work- I'm in my office, pretending to look for candidates while I piss around on the internet and dream of long legs and class. My cell phone rings and snaps me back to reality - I see the name of my son's daycare pop up. As a parent, you immediately start thinking the worst- I can't imagine there's ever been a phone call from a child's school during normal business hours and someone receiving good news. In the 3 second span between hearing the buzz of my Samsung and answering, I managed to go through all worst case scenarios in my mind and mentally prepare for what I was about to hear- or so I thought.
I'm the son of a laborer, I grew up hard in Baltimore. I'm a former Marine, I piss vinegar and chew nails and all that bullshit. I managed to knock up a woman I was dating who was more in love with a mirror than she was with our son. We split when my boy was a little over a year old. I was prepared to go to court to fight for custody, but in a twist of fate, I didn't have to. She wanted to move to California, and after 15 minutes in a Starbucks, she had signed over custody. I had already been raising him on my own the previous 6 months anyway, but now it was legal, and in the eyes of God and the state, he was 100% my responsibility.
There isn't much that can prepare you for being parents, especially when you weren't intending to become one. The utter selflessness required, the sacrifice of certain dreams or desires, the countless hours during sleepless nights spent worrying and fretting and stressing over everything that could go wrong, and how you can fuck it all up, and the realization that this 9 pound blob is your responsibility to keep alive and healthy and fed and clothed and oh God are you serious how much do they charge for daycare and what if he hates me when he gets older or becomes a Patriots fan I'll have to disown him and somehow he's supposed to become a man and it's your job to turn him into one and how can you possibly do this you're practically a kid yourself- It's the most overwhelming, terrifying, rewarding, euphoric experience I feel a human being can have.
I liked the person I was before I was a father, I enjoyed my life- I'm a former Marine, was fortunate to have great friends, traveled the country, lived an enjoyable and otherwise passive existence. I was a lucky guy and I was happy, Life was Good. And then all of that was taken away- the freedoms and laissez-faire lifestyle I was used to, replaced by this constant, overwhelming responsibility to another human being. Where every single decision I make was based on how it would affect him. I was no longer living for myself, and has been the greatest experience I could have fathomed- I wouldn't trade in my kid for Manny Machado's Major League career, or Leonardo DiCaprio's stable of women, or Mark Cuban's bank accounts- and I sure as hell wouldn't trade it for the life I led before. I wish for his sake that his mother was more involved, it will be hard for him when he gets older. But I'm beyond grateful that I've been able to experience the joy of being his father, and selfishly, I'm so thankful I haven't had to miss a moment.
Back to that Monday. I answered the phone, and Ms. G, the head of his school, was on the line. She was crying. My throat tightened, I was afraid I might pass out. I heard, "Mr. CamDos23, your son has had an accident...
THERE IS POOP EVERYWHERE- I've never seen anything like it!!!! He has explosive, uncontrollable diarrhea, we've had to take all the kids into another room, he was ROLLING AROUND in it, I'm not sure what you are teaching your son at home but this is UNACCEPTABLE! You are to come pick him up at once and clean him, our teachers are not to be subjected to this type of BEHAVIOR!!
It was the first time I had been yelled at by a school principal since the last week of high school, and I'll be honest, it brought back some fond memories. I also found it a little unfair, he was only two at the time- they hold themselves up to a high standard at that daycare it seems.
So that's how I ended up having to take half a sick day to go clean my child, who was covered head to toe in his own crap. It was one of the most disgusting moments of my life- and I went to Parris Island with 75 other guys in the South Carolina summer. I've seen some things, man. And even while I was choking and gagging trying to bathe him, I realized that there wasn't a single second I was wishing I didn't have that responsibility. Being a daddy is such a gift.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there, especially the single ones. And happy Mother's Day to all the Father's who have the responsibility on their own as well.
