If there is one thing I’ve come to learn as an adult, it is that the more we grow and move up in life, the harder it will be to stop looking back on things that could have been. This happens a lot, especially when we have to make choices and pick between two hard options. No matter how hard it may be to make a choice, whether we like it or not, we’ll always have to eventually make a decision. And however it goes, we’d have to think of how things could have been if we didn’t make that choice.
Many times, our choices work in our favour, and we know that if given the same options, we’d make the same choices. But still, we can’t help but wonder, “What would have happened if I made that decision instead of this one? How will things have turned out for me?” And that’s the dilemma we find ourselves in.
What causes these things? Is it regret? Or is it simply a case of curiosity, wanting to know how things would have turned out without necessarily experiencing them for ourselves? Is that what it is now? Because if things are going well, why then would you bother yourself thinking about ‘what could have been’, when ‘what actually is’ is good enough.
But then, what about when there is proof that the other choice you failed to make would have placed you in an even better position? It’s not like where you are presently is bad, it’s just that you know that with a different choice, you could have had better. And thus, you get plagued with a series of ‘what ifs’.
The truth is, there will always be thoughts like this. Every time we make a choice, we’re subconsciously accepting the fact that the choice may not work out in our favor. This is because life, as we know it, is 50/50. Things can change on a dime. So, proof that someone got well based on a choice that you could have also made doesn’t mean that you would have had the same result. That’s just the truth!
Experiences are different, and backgrounds are also different. So, regardless of everything else, these will most likely influence the results, which is why they will very well vary. So then, regardless of what you do, there is a high chance that you’ll most likely find yourself thinking over and over about the choice that you didn’t make. This happens across all spheres of life; from education to choice of cars and even life partners. You can’t help but wonder what life would have been like for you if you picked something or someone different.
Some might interpret this to be regret, but I don’t. As I said, I call it curiosity about what could have been. And so, when making choices, don’t look for the one that you would have zero regrets about, because you might not get that. Be more focused on the one where you’d be most likely able to live with the regrets or curiosities that come from the choice.
I’m just thinking out loud.
