I had to step out today, and while I was on the bus, I was overhearing a conversation between two friends. They were simply talking about one of them whose mother was asking for a loan from them. He was not happy about it because apparently, his mother has a habit of not paying back the loans she takes from him. With her being his mother, he has no issues leaving the money with her, but if he’s going to give her something, it has to be an amount that he doesn’t have any important thing tied to, or that money would be gone for good. And as a result, he was considering giving her only a fraction of what she needed.
And as I overheard, I couldn’t help but pity the poor woman. Not because her son was shortening the money she wanted, but because of how she had brought him to that level. For him to say that his mom wasn’t going to pay back, it was because she had most likely done it in the past. Borrowing something and not returning it. Over and over again, to the point where they stop expecting you to ever return anything they’ve given you.
There used to be a running joke that you can loan your mother things, but when it’s time to pay back, she asks you things like: “What about the food you’ve been eating and the clothes you wore as a child?” And the truth is, while many people probably experienced that as a child. I honestly couldn’t relate.
My mom just dislikes borrowing ehn, and she’s always clear with what she wants. If she wants a loan, she’ll ask. And if he wants you to give her something, she’ll simply tell you. My mom will never tell us to borrow her money and then not pay it back; she’ll give us a timeline and then pay it that very day she sets. And I’ve tried telling her not to bother, but she doesn’t like it. She sha likes to pay off all her debt. I’m just saying that she has always had this habit of paying off her debt, no matter how little they are.
And she passed this habit down to us, her children. There are people who will lend money and suddenly turn into ghosts, others will lend money and become monsters just because they don’t want to pay back. That’s how insane it is. One thing I’ll never do is take a loan I’m not planning to pay off. Like, what the hell? And then do it to my kid? If my child lends me money, and then I fail to refund it as I promised, he’ll never take me seriously, especially with money matters. And in the future, when I’m in a bind, and I ask for a loan, he’ll most likely shorten the money because he already knows I’m not good for it.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t give your mom loans or take loans from your kids, just… as a parent, learn to keep your word! If you want them to give it to you, then be clear about it. Do not say you’ll give it back to them, then use emotional blackmail to stop them from asking for it. It’s cruel. Because in the end, it’s better for the children to choose to leave the loan for you, not you making that choice for them. Really, these little things matter.
P.S: Loan doesn’t necessarily mean huge amounts of money. It can be quick fixes, money to do one or two basic things, easy money that can be gotten from you without stress. So, it can be as little as N500 to as high as N10 billion. Regardless of the number of zeros, integrity and honor should be the key!!! Because little things like these determine the legacy you leave for your children.
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