You see, I’ve always wondered why there has always been a lot of emphasis placed on the idea of blood. Society has elevated this idea of family to the point that it looks like you can only trust people who are related by blood to you, and anyone else, and you’re basically setting yourself up for heartbreak. As in, you’re expected to uphold our family over everyone else, regardless of how shitty they treat you. Someone does something terrible to you, and you’d have to look away, just because they’re family.
But then, we forget that our world does not revolve around family. The people who will change our lives are most likely not related to us, none of the meaningful connections we’d make or the beautiful relationships we’d get into would be with people who are our kin. Because when you think about it, family is just overrated.
Of course, I’m not saying that people should abandon their families. If you have a family that loves you, then good and fine. You’re blessed. But the last thing anyone should allow is to allow their lives to be destroyed just because of family. Society has made it seem like as long as you’re related to someone, then they can’t do anything to you. But we’ve seen brothers kill each other, sisters seduce their brothers-in-law, fathers rape their daughters, and mothers deny their children opportunities that would have changed their lives for the better.
And these are all intentional acts, not something that happened where they thought they were doing the right thing. They knew clearly what they were doing and did it anyway. And this is what makes it so painful because with family, you let your guard down, and that makes it easy for them to take advantage of you. That’s the only reason that someone would die, and instead of his family mourning him, they’d be fighting over how to share his properties.
This is part of the reason people always want to prolong their ‘legacy’, because their blood must keep flowing on earth. So, if they don’t have a child, then something is terribly wrong. But for some reason, we conveniently forget that a child doesn’t have to be related to you by blood to actually be yours. People have this need to have their own children by any means necessary, while there are thousands and millions of children all over the world looking for a home.
Besides, society is rarely fair to parents who make the bold decision to adopt. You’d be asked what you know about the child’s family, what if the child grew up to become a kidnapper or a murderer? What if you unknowingly raised a serial killer and a rapist? But then, they forget that these traits are not passed through blood. No one becomes a serial killer just because their father was one. The environment plays a huge role.
What am I trying to say here? Let’s forget about this over-inflated idea of family. Family can betray you, they can break your heart, and stab you in the back. In the same way that friends and strangers can. In the end, blood relations won’t save you from someone who wants to hurt you. So, in a nutshell, instead of keeping your circle tight and small for only blood family, I ask that you expand it instead, to include everyone who means something to you, whether they’re related to you by blood or not.
Because that is the true definition of family.
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