When it comes to arguments, there are people who will never cease to amaze me in that area. Do you know that there are people who are always looking for a fight? They always seem to be in the mood to argue. Once they see an opening, their eyes would shine wide, and at once, their voices would go up an octave, ready to start bantering words with whoever is unlucky enough to fall into their trap.
Such people thrive on disagreements and the chaos they bring. That’s why even when you eventually agree with them and concede defeat for the sake of peace, many of them still won’t have it. Some will even be willing to provoke you, so the fight will go on. I know people like that, and I always do my best to stay the hell away from them.
Personally, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like stress. I so much hate stress, and an argument is stress on its own. I have better things to do with my time than to be arguing, especially about pointless things. Because when you’re arguing, nothing gets done. I remember leaving a talking stage because she simply wanted to start a fight out of thin air. Like, why would you just be, and your body will be doing you to start an argument? Is that normal behavior?
So, for me, as long as the subject matter doesn’t affect me or my life in any way, and as long as it doesn’t paint me in a light that would be damaging to my reputation, I really don’t mind the outcome. I’ll tell you what you want to hear and leave you to your faith. I’ve learned the hard way that when it comes to arguments, most people are only interested in hearing their own voices. Whatever anyone else has to say is just background noise.
Back in my school, there were some circles you would never see me in because I simply didn’t align with their values. I don’t smoke at all, but there were those who were willing to go out of their way to convince me to try it out. And when I tell them the health risks I was trying to avoid, it would always somehow get into an argument. At the end, when one of them told me that smoking is medicinal, I had no choice but to agree with him. Because I wouldn’t be caught dead arguing with such a mind. By agreeing, I simply allowed him to think he won, and that was it.
Sometimes, ignoring the person works for me. In the bank, or an organized space, someone would bump into you and instead of apologizing, they’d look at you with a hateful sneer, as if daring you to do something about it. Such people, I always give them my best condescending look. Looking them up to down and letting them know that they’re not worth my time. Some will try to verbally provoke me, but I won’t even spare them another glance, just be busy on my phone. One thing I know is that they can’t dare touch me.
Omo… there are arguments that you’d engage in and by the time it’s over, your IQ would have dropped by 75%. And when you think about the topic of discussion, it would be a silly thing.
But then, sometimes, the arguments can be between loved ones, and of course, if we’re not careful, the relationship can deteriorate completely. It’s always a good idea to leave the hot zone for some time and revisit it when everyone’s temper has calmed down. People say a lot of things in the heat of the moment, and these things can ruin even the strongest bonds. People also do things in the heat of arguments. You’d think you have control, until you see yourself hitting someone you shouldn’t be. Something you never imagined you had in you.
Sometimes, for peace to reign, it’s okay to just take the L. Just let them think that they won and have it done with. What matters for real is what you know and what you believe. As long as letting them win doesn’t damage your reputation or that of your loved ones. As long as it doesn’t hurt you in any way, just let it go. There will be no prize to be won for the number of arguments won.
So, how do I settle it? I avoid it totally. And if it’s too important for me to do that, I return to it with a clearer frame of mind, so that I can have a civil conversation with the other party. If that doesn’t still work, I might bring in a 3rd party we both trust. If that still doesn’t work… well…
It is what it is!!!
