Finding the strength to try and move forwards when all odds seems to be wagered against you can really put you to the test. At the best of times life can throw the most unexpected curveball,and I am not saying that it is all bad, I am simply saying that there is a whole lot of uncertainty in life.
I always try to make the most of what I am given, however today I guess I simply need to vent. The past few years have been exceptionally hard on me, recently I have been trying to recover the farm from the seven year draught that we had just endured,placing an extreme amount of hope that the annual rain season would yield enough rainfall to sustain a successful agricultural year ahead.
However now as we step into our rain season, and I just started re-establishing gardens and orchards, the unexpected happened, we received flood warnings.
It was really hard for me to look at everything that has been lost time and time again over the last few years and still gather the strength to start over, but just the thought of everything going to ruins again, now that threw me back quite a bit. It honestly feels that every time that something like this happens, that you don't only loose in a physical sense, or even a part of motivation and strength to start over, it also feels that you end up loosing a little part of everything you once were.
After a while it starts getting just that little bit harder to see the beauty in life, a little bit harder to smile, and just that much harder to find a sense of happiness in your surroundings.
And here is the thing, I am not even writing this simple to vent, I am writing this, because I know that we all have our own struggles, and I know that it is hard to fight your battles alone, and if anyone out there is reading this that might be going through a tough patch, I can only hope that this serves in some way shape or form as a source of inspiration. Be it through the simple gesture of association, or simply the fact that you are not alone in your troubles.
Earlier today, I wrote an open poetic piece, that veers off slightly from structured poetry. Writing has always been a form of medicine for myself, and in this piece I shifted the rhyme patterns and rhythm of the piece in order to bring the focus of instability and uncertainty of the situation to the foreground. This piece relates to myself, fighting to recognise parts of myself that feel lost at the moment.
Child of All Seasons
You were once a child of all seasons
your heart beat out a rhythm
that was not bound by earthly reasons
wonder and awe sought out your moments to spare.
Now only the cold rests inside your eyes
as you try to light a fire in your heart
every part of you once free
is now chained up, in what's left of me.
You let your tears fall freely
into a raging sea of uncertainty
while your words are carried off by winds of change
and rests on the shores of tomorrow
your hearts summer, seems lost in your sorrow
Yet through your cold nights,
through it all
you still paint pictures of the fall
Is it all lost? Is it all forgotten?
The times when you danced shamelessly
In the fragrant scents of September
and your days were filled with time well spent?
Is it all lost within your winter filled view?
Where did I lose you my dear child of all seasons?
now love rests in your palms
and beasts rest at your feet
clouds like angered fire
has come to wash your slate clean
Just bear in mind my child,
that the seasons will change
and all that is now, is not certain to remain.