~my photo. I used a piece of paper and a permanent marker.
Brief introduction
I go by Jazz. I had a passion for writing since 4th grade, when the teacher liked my writing for short story assignments she gave. Writing something, whether it's a book or a movie that people can relate to and enjoy, has always been my dream. Because of unemployment, I started blogging on these crypto sites in 2017, and I'll explain more in the free write. Since I didn't have a presence on other platforms, I began writing about autism and my challenges with employment due to it on these platforms. I'm also into gaming and photography, which is also why I started blogging on these sites to share my passion for photography. I aspire to be a full-time blogger/creator someday. Being able to travel and see things and post them on this blog is a dream of mine.
For my first free-write for the community, I'm going to be honest: I hate being different. In school, others verbally harassed me simply because I was different. As if it were my fault that I wasn't born with a neurotypical brain. Sometimes it takes longer to crack things; sometimes it takes longer before your explanation clicks. I'm not pretending I don't understand making you mad; my brain genuinely cannot compute. Not knowing when you've upset someone because your brain doesn't recognize non-verbal cues. Eventually, I give up asking my mom when my brain still can't decode her dancing around the bushes because the more I ask, the more irritated she gets. I've had this problem before lockdowns.
My folks get irritated with me because of miscommunications on their end. Our brains require clear communication: saying what you mean.
Without that information, your request sounds like a statement, not asking.
I follow an autistic creator who makes skits about being autistic in the workplace. She acts as the NT perspective and the autistic perspective. The NT side explained that they were running behind on an assignment they were asking for help with; the autistic perspective didn't recognize it as a question but as a statement.
"Can you help me with this?" vs. "Man, I'm behind; I still have so much work to do. Josh is gonna be mad if I turn this in late." The latter is what the NT said. The former is clear communication.
The autistic perspective found themselves scolded by the manager for not helping so and so when the autistic perspective didn't recognize so and so as asking for help. When the autistic perspective tried explaining, the manager brushed them off as having "attitude." Also, a lot of us don't realize our tone is rough. In high school, a lady told me off because of this when I was getting an air cast on my ankle, when I didn't know my tone intimidated her. My mom used it as a gotcha moment instead of explaining how my question may have upset her and how to phrase it. Multiple times, I have told my mom that I'm not doing it on purpose; I asked the lady, "When will the doctor be in?" I didn't realize that sounded demanding.
Now, on to why I said autism is why I was unemployed. Some barriers keep us out of the workplace. That annoying questionnaire that wastes your time on applications- that's to
Weed us out. Employers know it's illegal to discriminate; they do it in subtle ways where discrimination is difficult to prove.
Also, in interviews, our brains are literal thinkers, so we'll see the literal sense of the questions, not what the interviewer wants.
Autistic people may interpret "tell me about yourself" literally. The world did not accommodate us.
Autistic people can bring a lot to the table; small things like miscommunication, workplace bullying, and other barriers keep us out. Someone different intimidates the world.
On Facebook, in a post where someone's autistic child saw those mall fountains as a pool because they have the ladder you use to get in/out of a pool. I agreed with the kid; it does look like a pool at first glance. I have to look again and analyze things before they click. Someone called me slow for not having their NT brain; I cursed them out, and they doubled down. NTs think they can bully us and call us ableist names for having different brains and seeing things differently than their perspective.
This post will be too long if I list every single reason I hate being different.
In this society, I hate being autistic. If we had an accepting society, I wouldn't hate it so much. Especially if people were more patient with us instead of calling us ableist names right off the bat.